Author Archives: Paula Jones

Deeply Personal AHA

…That I feel drawn to share….It’s pretty vulnerable….but, a fairly large breakthrough.

A friend of mine (A) was sharing a story about a mutual friend (B) who is dating a multitude of women right now….the friend’s comment was basically “More power to him!”.

I was triggered.  (And probably not in the way that you are thinking)

And rather than get defensive or reactive – I asked questions – because I KNEW there had to be something deep in this…FOR ME….and that it might not be fun.

Even though A sees a pattern in B – B hates women – dates a lot of women – numbs his pain with a LOT of alcohol – gets used and taken advantage of – then when B and the women break up – B whines and complains about the women – RINSE AND REPEAT – A doesn’t feel the need to say anything. (not sure if it is some kind of guy thing – or what.)

Which really made me curious.

REALLY curious.

What about this triggered me so deeply?

But, of course, I started with the obvious.  Why wouldn’t A say anything to B?  A felt I was being judgy, but, I really wanted to get to the bottom of this…and I felt safe asking those questions.  We went back and forth.  Basically ending with A stating he feels no need to say something, and me still up in the air about it.


So – I went to one of my two bestie’s that always helps me process.


There it was.

I did the same thing that B did.


Always dating one person or another – allowing myself to be taken advantage of – monetarily in most cases – culminating in a type of a date rape situation a few years ago.

And why???

Because I didn’t feel worthy.

And so I allowed it.

Anything was better than nothing.


Until…..My friend with the 2 x 4 asked – WHY THE F___ do you do this??

She asked the hard question.

Which I will be forever grateful for.

I did the same thing that B did – BUT – I had someone who cared about me ask the hard question – and changed my life because of it – that’s why it triggered me so deeply.

I realize that if I were given the opportunity – I would probably ask B the same question – in a different way – and knowing that he may or may not hear me – BECAUSE of how grateful I am that 2 x 4 woman cared enough about me to point out that patterning that leaves you banging your head against the wall – constantly wondering because you can’t see your forest for your trees.

We are all so different.

I feel the need to ask the hard questions.

Some don’t.

And it’s all just perfectly orchestrated.

May We Walk Together As One.




What happens when you state what you want to GUS…

…..Or, be careful what you ask for!!!!!

I’m a manifestor.  Actually, quite good at it.  Sometimes, too good.

I spent many years in “victim mode” and received a lot of “victim” situations.  I was all about “nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I’m gonna go eat worms!”  And, I received a lot of worms.

Once I realized that thoughts create things and/or situations, I got better….not great…but, better, at being aware of my thoughts and statements I made.  (I think I will ALWAYS be on a journey around this!)

Here is a HUGE example of what I am talking about.

This past year has been about finding my authentic voice.  Figuring out who I really am.  One of the things I stated to GUS (and to friends), was that it was time to leave a couple of galleries that did not “fit” any longer.  And, only be in galleries that truly loved my work, and believed in my story.

I waited a BIT too long for GUS….and he decided to give me what I asked for.

The phone call came from one of my galleries that was the most inauthentic to me.

“Do you think it is time that we part ways?”


Yes, of course, but I wasn’t quite ready.

Hells Bells.

Another one closed and didn’t tell any of their artists – we had to find out through social media – obviously this space was not authentic to who I am.

I went from 6 galleries to 1 in a year.

Then I went into panic mode.

What the hell was I going to do???

I was reminded by a dear friend that I had asked for this, and if I could just be patient, (yeah RIGHT!!!!) it would all fall into place.

I went into gratitude mode for the one gallery that believed in me – Artemisia – in Geneva, Il – owned by a very spiritual woman that I adore.  One who understood my path and my vision.



it came.

An email from a man who owned a gallery in Birmingham, AL.  Asking me to be in his gallery.  Art Alley...phenomenal space!!!

We talked.

One of the things that I don’t like about being in galleries in other cities are shipping costs there.  It is a HUGE expense.  He offered to pay for shipping.


He picked out paintings that I had hanging in my house, rather than the ones I had in my studio, which told me that he “got” me.

GUS is always listening.

I truly believe that it is okay to “feel” all of our “feels”.  Our fears, our worries, our anger, and our despair.  If we stuff them down, they fester. Talk about it with your very trusted inner circle – the ones that truly get you and who will tell you like it is (VERY grateful for my TIGHT inner circle!)



State your intention clearly.

GUS is always listening.

And, then be patient and wait for the magic to happen.



Blessings to you all

And, of course….

May We Walk Together As One.





Why am I having a sale?

I realize how unconventional having a sale is.   I also know that many will have their opinions about this.  And, quite frankly, I have weighed all of the options. I am a self supporting professional artist….which means, my only income is from the sales of my art.  I absolutely feel very blessed to have been… Continue Reading

About Paula
Raven Shaman