Fear….and releasing

angelscomeinallshapesandsizesI’ve been struggling.  With who I am and who others think I should be (which just puts my people pleasin’ tendencies into hyperdrive!!!)  Not a winning combo in my world.

Perhaps I should go into more details…It’s my art.  Which, I guess in a way, is who I am.

I have really been feeling the tug, the call and my intuition has been hitting me over the head – to paint these ethereal beings – along with their messages for a while now.

My courage to put them out there waxes and wanes according to what people say and how they react. “There’s no money in this kind of art!”   “These aren’t good enough” (That one really stung and kept me from painting them for two years!)  AND…. “Where are you even going to sell these?” (Obviously, there is  a lesson in there somehow?!)  This is not a post about what anyone has said….this has everything to do with my lesson.

And my muse pretty much only “lets” me paint these beings.

I have to listen, or end up just pushing paint around on the canvas.

I’m a BIG people pleaser….Co-dependency at it’s finest.  Buy the book, and read about it – it’s me….just sayin’.

And, even though they are being more accepted and received, I still have my doubts.

As a child I believed I could talk with my guardian angel – Benjamin – and somewhere along the line I lost that child-like innocence.  Lately, it is coming back.   In spades.

Even though I KNOW that I am supposed to be painting these beings, my head and ego get in the way of the heart and soul knowing.

I asked for a sign.

Even though my intuition and several other near and dear friends have told me this is what I am to paint, I needed more.

And guess what????!!!!!

They came!!!

They came because I asked.

This morning a friend on Facebook reposted my very first “being” painting and the painting that followed.  It was four years ago TODAY that I posted them.  Two signs…

I decided I wanted to go for three….and in it came….”Others want to be seen”.

BIG GLARING SIGNS!!!  (Thank goodness, because I don’t go for subtleties!)

Ok…I get it.

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Grow some.

No boxes for me.

Know that the Universe, God, Source, Spirit or whatever you believe in has your back.

TRUST!!!! 

Trust that if you KNOW you are supposed to do it, even as crazy as it sounds or may seem…TRUST and go ahead and do it!!

Thanks for being a part of my crazy world…

 

Paula

 

 

 

 

Leave a reply

About Paula