I’m a creative… and a woman

youcanalmostsmellemI piddle. I forget things. Like eating. And appointments. And returning phone calls and emails. And breathing…sometimes. Until I find my shoulders up around my head. THEN I remember.

I’m insecure and I’m confident. Thank God for really good friends who talk me out of the “I’m never gonna amount to anything” phases. I’ve hurt people when I’m insecure…AND I love the crap outta them when I’m confident.

I paint masterpieces and I paint crap. Sometimes the crap becomes masterpieces (if I can just relax and let it flow).

I’ve been happier than a pig in shit, and I’ve cast pearls before swine.

I’ve loved so deeply that I could barely breathe. And, I’ve cried so hard over lost loves, that I could barely breathe.

I believe in a power greater than who we are here on this earth…And I believe we are that power.

I’ve seen how the power of belief and hope can create castles in the sky…and I’ve seen how being cynical can create the opposite.

I believe that we are all connected and that there are no mistakes in this world with each connection that is made. Most are lessons in how to love ourselves more. Which is the most powerful form of love there could ever be.

I’ve had babies, and have the stretch marks to prove it. I have never ever regretted it. I’m proud of having given birth. It’s my greatest accomplishment in my life.

I get ideas at the most odd times. I always try to carry something to write with so it doesn’t go away…because…old.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE to laugh….at myself, at jokes, at almost anything… AND, I’m just as prone to cry at the drop of a hat. For, some of oddest reasons… sometimes for the same reasons that I might laugh.

I love to be in nature…to feel the earth beneath my feet…to see the sky…smell the flowers.

I think outside of the box. I don’t believe there should be ANY boxes. Or judgement. We are all here for a reason. It’s not my place to judge what the reason is.

I love to create….and I hate to create. (see above – I paint masterpieces and I paint crap…lol) BUT, I have no other option. It’s who I am…

I’m a crone…a maiden…and a child. I don’t feel much differently than I did when I was younger, but my body tells me differently. I have wisdom that I wish I would have had when I was younger. I still delight in all of the same things I did when I was a child… Puppy breath, the smell of a freshly bathed child, a butterfly, listening to a mother sing to her child, playing the piano just because I can, watching lovers share stories, Chef Boyardee Pizza, fresh strawberries that don’t make it to the house, watching clouds and seeing dragons in the formations, playing hopscotch, peonies on graves on Memorial Day, and riding horses.

I think I’ve learned how to accept myself and roll with the punches.

I wish peace — and hope — and joy… AND of course love for all…

That’s it.

PJ

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Messages of Hope
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