Life is not a spreadsheet….

002I want to start this by saying I really do love my sister – a lot – really – a lot.  She is an amazing woman, has been through much, and never ceases to surprise me with what she accomplishes.  Seriously.

She loves spreadsheets…..adores them…..and plans her life with them.   So does my daughter for that matter.   And I love her too.

As you know, I am here with my mother in Brookville, Kansas as she was diagnosed with stage 4 small cell carcinoma.  My sister had to leave for a few days to go back to Dallas.  And she left me with spreadsheets….lots of spreadsheets.  Black and white spreadsheets. Which made me nervous.   I don’t live by a spreadsheet.   I am completely different from her in that respect.   I have some sort of internal spreadsheet.   I get done and completed what I need to.   I haven’t been thrown in jail for not paying my taxes, and even though I don’t write everything down in my checkbook, I still seem to have money in there.  At least, last time I checked, I did (this modern technology stuff – all I have to do is sign in on my computer – and – voila – it tells me there is money there!)

They (“the spreadsheets”) made me nervous because it was all on a schedule – everything that mom does during the day, her meds, who is visiting when, and who brought what food etc etc (which is a whole nuther story!).     Don’t get me wrong – I love having the medication schedule and have been VERY thankful for it – but, the other ones made me nervous.   What if something threw a monkey wrench into the plans?

And then, it happened…..the wrench…..the cat had kittens…..and we wanted to go find them, but……..it wasn’t on the spreadsheet.  Gasp. Oh, no, Mr. Bill.  Yikes.  Dang.  What to do?   Go find the kitties, of course.   And, we did.   Two whites ones and two gray and white ones.  They are precious.  New life.  Part of the circle.

Yes, I am going overboard, and being “drama-ish” and I really have been thankful for the spreadsheets, but, I want to prove a point.

100_1177Sometimes in life, we get so caught up in what we “have” to do, in our spreadsheets, that we forget to take the time to look at the sunset, the sunrise, we forget to listen to the cardinals, the laughter of a small child, we forget to go and find the kitties.  We look at life in black and white.  Sometimes it is shades of gray – Gray and white that is.

Much love,

Paula

ps….If my sister, or my daughter would have been here – they would have led the path to find the kitties….  They know what is important.

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