…….and not a demon, or a dragon.
Interesting topic… And where oh where is THIS one going? Hmmmm… Always fun to find out how Paula’s brain actually works. Or not. But….here goes.
I was talking to a friend this morning who is going through the most challenging time of her whole life. Very challenging. But, I know that deep down inside she has the courage and strength to make it through. Right now, she is in the running phase. Most of you (me included) know what the running phase is. The running phase is the point at which you feel like you are trying to ride your bike as fast as you can to get away from something that is chasing you, and you are so afraid of what it is that is chasing you, that you can’t even turn around to see what “it” is. You ride to the point of exhaustion, or until someone -who loves you very much – sticks a stick in your spokes and you fall down – only to turn around and see that the “thing” chasing you is just a chihuahua. Just a teeny, tiny little lovable chihuahua, who has been running after you to be picked up, and cuddled, and loved.
In life, we run…we run towards, we run away…we run. From the unknown….from ourselves. From the divine being that we are. From the incredibly beautiful, loving, compassionate human being that we know -WAY deep down inside that we are. We are the chihuahua. And yet, we seem to be afraid to embrace ourselves – to love ourselves, to pick ourselves up and to cuddled by ourselves. Why? Is it because we have been taught that we are bad, and to love ourselves, to put ourselves first is not right? Self love – YIKES! No way! That’s against the rules! How, how, I ask you, if we don’t love ourselves, can we expect others to love us? If we don’t find ourselves beautiful, cuddly, compassionate, strong, sexy,….okay, you get the picture…..how can anyone else find us that way? We believe what other people say and think about us. After all, if someone else thinks it, it must be true, right?
I write about this topic a lot. I write about it a lot, because it is my biggest struggle. I don’t have all the answers. I don’t pretend to. I write, because it helps me sort it all out. I write, because there are some of you that I am holding a mirror for. I write, because I want you to know that you are not alone in your struggles. I write, because I am you. And you are me. We are all one. We are all on this journey together…..And I, for one, am grateful.
PS……I am in the process of adopting. Stay tuned for updates!!!!!