In order for me to understand “WHY” I paint – I had to analyze what exactly I thought an artist is, and why artists paint what they paint, and WHY I felt like I was chosen to BE an artist.
And during my quiet time recovering from surgery, (obviously I wasn’t being quiet enough, and so the Universe did what the Universe does when one isn’t listening – it MADE me listen!), I spent a lot of time listening to my inner knowing.
I’m an intuitive painter – I didn’t go to “school” to become an artist – it found me. I don’t know art history, nor do I really know the “rules” of composition and technique. I paint from that inner knowing that seems to have been given to me.
My process is very different from some. I piddle, and yet am very productive. It’s my style – some would call me ADHD, but that would require medication and my style works perfectly for me, and so I’m good with it.
Art IS medicine – I discovered. It IS the healer – and one of the ways my art heals is through mostly my abstract/message paintings as abstract is the language of the soul and the secret language of my spirit. I generally go into painting an abstract not knowing exactly what to expect and being delighted with the results.
I have called myself an artist for ten years. The other day I BECAME an artist. I played – really played in the paint. I felt joy and happiness that I never knew I could feel. I’ve actually said that I was “playing” but in actuality I was not just playing I still had that mindset of “tasking”. “You have to paint blah blah blah – the slave driver inside me was saying. And she even had a whip. I admit, there were play times….but more of the “you have to support yourself yada yada yada bull shit that my mind is good at saying. And so, I lovingly said “BUH BYE” again to another part of me that at one time served me, but was no longer needed.
I realized that what I do – my calling, my gift – is important. I had always thought of artistic/creative types as insignificant – ahhh – so THAT is why it took me so long to feel good about my calling, and so “I” never truly felt that my calling was a significant calling.
I’m an artist – and here to encourage ALL those who want to paint or be creative – to do so. Swallow your fears and jump in with both feet. Believe in YOU….