Almost down the rabbit hole….

….and what I did to stop it.

Interesting times for those of us who are on a spiritual journey.  We seem to be getting slammed right and left and up and down with lessons, testing our resolve to this path.  It’s like Spirit, God, or whatever you believe in, is saying:  ARE YOU REALLY READY TO COMPLETELY WALK YOUR TALK?????!!!!!

I am…I think…well, actually, I know, AND, I also know what saying yes to this journey also entails.  It’s not always easy, but, OMG, it is the most rewarding thing you can ever do for yourself.

I’ve become aware of my little girl Sallie, who was “born” at age 4 or 5.  She became my protector….actually….she became my main personality.  She has dealt with my life, from a 5 year old perspective.  And, wow, I realized, looking back this morning, how kinda F*&%$ED up it was.  To deal with my life as an adult from a 5 year old perspective.   I have dealt with issues my whole life (not ALL the time, but…  A LOT….of the time), from that wounded little girl perspective.  She never had a chance to be a child.  To play, and enjoy all of the gifts that life has to offer to a little girl.  She felt as though she needed to be perfect, and take care of everyone.  After all, she was the oldest in the family, and that meant responsibility.

I’m very fortunate to be working with two amazing people right now to help me through this….and yet, I know that it has to come from me.

This morning – I started down that rabbit hole – that one where all of the old programming came up – Sallie was present and ready to kick some proverbial ass….I stopped….dead in my tracks….and actually told her that I have it now….that she can go back to being the child that she was never able to be.

“So, I can go back to being a kid again, and paint the paintings that I am?”

Absolutely Sallie.

This is where my latest series – The Little Girl and Tiny Tots – are being born from.  It’s from that adult little girl who was never allowed to play – because she choose to take on all of that responsibility for keeping me “safe” in the only way she knew how – from a 5 year old perspective.

I’m certainly not over the hump yet, but the latest journey has provided me with invaluable insight into what makes me tick…and has allowed me to be much more compassionate with others’ journeys.

None of us truly knows what wounds others carry – but, a little bit of compassion and love, goes a long way.

We are truly walking each other home.

You say your art doesn’t “fit”??

Layers of my life

Doesn’t fit what?  Who?  When?  Where?  Why?  How?   I think you may be getting the picture.  Does it fit who you are?  Does it fit where you are in your life?  Does it serve a purpose – Like providing you with a creative outlet if nothing else?

Then WHY DO WE CARE?  What makes us so susceptible to what others think?  And what they think we should/shouldn’t paint?  Isn’t the purpose of being an artist to create what your soul is asking….no…..BEGGING…you to do?

The creative process is the most magical thing we can do for our souls.   It makes no difference WHAT it is that you do.  Gardening, writing, singing, dancing, cooking, picking a bouquet and arranging it…It’s what puts us in touch with our higher self…our God self…    It is through our creativity that we create new worlds…provide material for people to ponder, love, marvel at, and enjoy.   Provide that connection for someone else to get in touch with THEIR God self…THEIR soul.

Now more than ever, ORIGINAL creativity is needed.  Now more than ever, we are being asked to be totally authentic and in integrity to who we are.   Now, more than ever….we need all of our God Sparks.

The world is going through massive changes.  Changes that need to happen, and will most likely be challenging to most of us.   But, our connection to our higher power, will help ground all of us.

I’ve been asked, “What should I paint?”.  “My husband tells me that landscapes are selling, and that I should paint landscapes.  What do you think?”   (I’m betting that the majority of you know my answer to this before I even type it!!!)

Do you like painting landscapes?

“No.”

“But, my husband says they are selling.”

And if your husband told you to jump off a bridge, would you do that? (Thanks Dad for beating that into my head!)

“NO….that’s ridiculous!!!”

So is painting something because he says it sells.

Nothing sells (ok – a lie – but a teeny one), unless there is SOUL in it.

Here is an example:   I used to paint mostly cows.   I LOVE cows, and the memories that they bring about time spent on my grandparents farm.  A gallery of mine ONLY wants cows, and begged me to paint them….I acquiesced….and painted a few….and guess what….not a single one has sold.  Oh, they are good – but, they don’t have that soul factor.

Honestly, painting the beings along with the messages that come with them, freaks me out a bit.  What if my peeps think I’m crazy?  What if no galleries want them?  They don’t fit any particular genre, and yet, they’re me.  They’re my journey.  They’re my story.  They are my SOUL!!!

Do I care what people think?  Sigh…yeah…a bit….but I know that this is my path and that I HAVE to follow my path.   I haven’t come this far to not follow my intuition.   It’s led me to this point with very few mishaps – a ton of learning opportunities – but, no major mishaps.

So…I want to remind you – paint what you feel – write what you want – AND, DANCE LIKE NO ONE IS WATCHING!!!

May we walk together as one…

Paula

 

I’ve been really afraid…

…..to be who I am for the majority of my life, because I’ve always worried about what other people thought.   Okay, not totally true, because I remember as a small child being happy being outside in my Grandparents magical cedar forest complete with fairies, and leprechauns, and such – I kid you not!!!  I didn’t…Continue Reading

Messages of Hope
About Paula
Beings
Paintings