….nor am I an ultra-feminist, or a narcissist…..BUT, I am a Highly Sensitive Empath….
Once again, a very vulnerable post – yet, I feel the need to share.
The backstory…because it’s a doozy, and I think that many of you can relate.
I choose to go to a therapist a year and a half ago. She was recommended to me as highly spiritual who could help me on a much deeper level, which is what I wanted. I desired to work with someone who understood spiritual principle, as well as how to function in today’s world with all of the energies that bombard us as spiritual beings having a human experience.
I was ready to get down to MY nitty gritty. AND, ultimately, I did….but, on my own, although the therapist played a huge part, just not in the way that she intended, which is frequently the case.
She labeled me. First, I was a love avoider. Then, I found out she told the man that I was dating that I was a narcissist and ultra-feminist.
I spiraled. It was a slippery slope downhill.
After all, as a child I was taught to respect the opinion and not question authority figures. After all, they had training in that field, and I didn’t.
But, was that MY truth?
Or the therapist’s truth?
I got angry. (After the downhill spiral where I was sure I was a total failure in life and would never amount to anything – so why even try?) VERY angry. I went to her for help, and all she did was label me, sweep me under the rug, and tell the man that I was dating why he shouldn’t be with me.
She never took the time with me to work on the reason why I came to her. Which were intimacy issues.
So, I started doing my own research. I found another therapist, and worked with a brilliant human who specifically works with Empaths. I came across Dr. Judith Orloff….It’s like she knew me. Everything about me. My need for solitude, quiet and alone time. Why I couldn’t sleep with someone else. Why I felt like I was crazy. The importance of boundaries…(Which was also what my brilliant human – Brooke Tatum – had told me for years!!)
Turns out MY truth, was not the therapists truth. I didn’t question…until I did. Nothing about what she said about me felt true – and I came across a phenomenal article in Elephant Journal while doing my research, after taking a plethora of online quizzes to see whether or not I was a narcissist (all results – no matter how often I took them – was a resounding NO!), that spoke to me, and probably to many. It was about whether or not an Empath can be a narcissist……DEFINITELY NOOOOOO!!!
My truth.
Not the therapists.
Not the man I was dating.
MY TRUTH.
Had I not questioned her authority, I would still be down that deep dark rabbit hole, wondering if I am a horrid human, with no redeeming qualities.
And, so peeps….I want to remind you….seek YOUR truth. If something doesn’t feel right to you…make it your mission to find YOUR answers.
I did.
I’m much happier than I ever have been.
There is always room for growth. Just sayin’.
May we walk together as one.
Blessings,
Paula
