I really could never have imagined my life the way it is today.
Ten years ago – I was suicidal. Hell – I was that way until about 7 years ago. And, then, I changed.
I started listening to my intuition. I made one of the hardest decisions of my life. I decided to leave a great, wonderful man because I knew I had to. I had no idea how I would make it. After all, I was an artist, and artists starve, don’t they? At least, that it what I heard from several friends and family members who were concerned.
But, I didn’t and wouldn’t believe it.
I persevered – and have gone through so many metamorphosis – that it makes me feel a bit possessed. My art has changed, reflecting every single mutation. Every time my intuition gave me a nudge – I listened – sometimes….well, honestly….most of the time, when it is telling me what to paint.
I finally feel like I am coming home more to me – to who I am, why I am here, and what I am supposed to do. The beings that come through me onto the canvas carry messages. I never know who the messages are for until the recipient reaches out to me. I know when it belongs to someone, because I can sense them feeling the message.
Two years ago I would have never had the courage to put these beings out there, let alone tell people that they really come through me, with messages attached…but I’ve changed.
Low and behold – when I listen – abundance flows. Strange how that happens (for those of you who know me – you know that is a TOTAL sarcastic comment!)….NOT…
I’ve let go of a lot of expectation – instead choosing to be more fluid (I AM a Cancer after all!)…and the magic floats by as I lounge about in the little boat that is taking me down the river of life.
Never could I have imagined how much I love being present. Never could I have imagined how at peace I am. Never…..could I have even imagined being alive at this time.
I know now… I know that the better it gets, the better it gets. I’m so very content being alone. I love the smells and the sounds of nature like I have never done before. I truly feel like I am a part of everything.
Since I know now…that the better it gets…the better it gets…I become like a child anticipating Christmas.
So – now, I have something fun to share with you.
For my birthday I bought myself a bird feeder, a hummingbird feeder, outside lighting….
and….
a new house.
What a perfect present for a Cancer.
much love,
Paula
oh…and that fear about not making it……gone.
