Tag Archives: Cancer

Looking back, being present, and anticipating the future…

angelofloveI really could never have imagined my life the way it is today.

Ten years ago – I was suicidal.  Hell – I was that way until about 7 years ago.   And, then, I changed.

I started listening to my intuition.  I made one of the hardest decisions of my life.  I decided to leave a great, wonderful man because I knew I had to.  I had no idea how I would make it.  After all, I was an artist, and artists starve, don’t they?  At least, that it what I heard from several friends and family members who were concerned.

But, I didn’t and wouldn’t believe it.

I persevered – and have gone through so many metamorphosis – that it makes me feel a bit possessed.   My art has changed, reflecting every single mutation.  Every time my intuition gave me a nudge – I listened – sometimes….well, honestly….most of the time, when it is telling me what to paint.

I finally feel like I am coming home more to me – to who I am, why I am here, and what I am supposed to do.  The beings that come through me onto the canvas carry messages.  I never know who the messages are for until the recipient reaches out to me.  I know when it belongs to someone, because I can sense them feeling the message.

Two years ago I would have never had the courage to put these beings out there, let alone tell people that they really come through me, with messages attached…but I’ve changed.

Low and behold – when I listen – abundance flows.  Strange how that happens (for those of you who know me – you know that is a TOTAL sarcastic comment!)….NOT…

I’ve let go of a lot of expectation – instead choosing to be more fluid (I AM a Cancer after all!)…and the magic floats by as I lounge about in the little boat that is taking me down the river of life.

Never could I have imagined how much I love being present.  Never could I have imagined how at peace I am.  Never…..could I have even imagined being alive at this time.

I know now…  I know that the better it gets, the better it gets.   I’m so very content being alone.  I love the smells and the  sounds of nature like I have never done before.  I truly feel like I am a part of everything.

Since I know now…that the better it gets…the better it gets…I become like a child anticipating Christmas.

So – now, I have something fun to share with you.

For my birthday I bought myself a bird feeder, a hummingbird feeder, outside lighting….


a new house.

What a perfect present for a Cancer.

much love,


oh…and that fear about not making it……gone.


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