Tag Archives: seeker

Is “reality” real?

Powerful (20 x 20)

Big question that friends and I have been throwing around lately.

What exactly IS “reality”?

According to Wiki this is what “reality” is:  Reality is the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.[1] Reality includes everything that is and has been, whether or not it is observable or comprehensible. A still broader definition includes that which has existed, exists, or will exist.


What is reality to me, is not necessarily reality to another.   For instance, I believe that I can create my own reality.  My reality is that I am a visionary, intuitive artist and writer who came here to quite simply, well, for the sake of simplicity, be me.  Follow my intuition.  Write and paint things that make you think.  Plant seeds of consciousness. I’m a seeker – of wisdom, knowledge and unseen truths.

HOWEVER…..this may be quite different or uncomfortable for someone else….they may want to follow rather than lead….and judge those who don’t believe as they do.  To make others fit into their parameters of “reality”.  I wonder why, as humans, we do this?  (I have my theories, but, I would be interested to know your opinions!!)

There is a price, however, to conscious decisions, and you may have to deal with losing those people, places and things that no longer fit your reality.


For example, I lost a gallery, (disclaimer – I was ready to leave anyway, because of – well – a wide variety of reasons!) because during a five minute interview on television, while I was doing a demo about my upcoming show Spiritual Journey, the interviewer kept asking (several times) what a “spiritual journey” meant to me, (Mind you, I was trying to paint!), I blurted out the only thing that came to mind – “I don’t believe in God – instead I believe we ARE God!”.  My gallery owner used that as a reason to “part ways” because she said, “after all, it was a Spiritual Journey show”, and I said “EXACTLY!”

Our realities clearly were not the same!!!

Good news is that this gallery clearly did and does not fit who I am.

Did I have to deal with consequences of my words – yup – but, it’s all a part of the journey.



Will I have to adjust my reality?  Of course – but, I believe that everything happens for a reason.

Why is it that so many of us use the excuse that “they aren’t grounded in reality” to say adios to people?  Instead of asking questions?  Getting to know the person, rather than making judgments?  Opening one’s mind to possibilities rather than following the M”asses”?

You all know people on social media who are miserable and post about all of their victim issues.  And, guess what they continue to receive???   DUH!!!

Change perception.  Change reality.  Look for the silver lining rather than all of the Debbie Downer stuff!!!


May We Walk Together as One.

Here’s to the game changers!




Rising from the Ashes

risingfromthefireEight years ago, I made a very difficult decision to leave a wonderful man and a predictable life. Not knowing HOW I was going to make it, just knowing that I WAS going to make it….

I moved to Taos, NM, barely knowing a soul, but knowing that I needed to be there.

And, my fucking world turned upside down, inside out, and all around.

I had never much cared for “religion”. Too much black and white. Too much fear. Too much non “Christian” behavior. It never felt “right” to me.

Something always told me there was more. I became a seeker.   A seeker of knowledge about subjects I had never heard of. The teachers showed up.   One by one they entered in. Each with valuable wisdom, knowledge and lessons.

Everything I once believed in – was no longer my truth. My head was spinning almost constantly.

I tried to wrap my head around everything. Not only was I trying to decide whether or not I was going to stay married (and spending countless nights in my 6 foot claw foot bathtub surrounded by windows, with Eva Cassidy blaring on the stereo, enough candles to fill a church, and…hmmm…..enough wine to feed the whole congregation!!!).

I was also faced with an astonishing fact.

Everything, I once believed, was No. Longer. True!!!!!

I studied astrology, numerology, the Tarot, the I-Ching, joined a chanting Buddhist group, learned the magic of the pendulum, participated in meditation retreats, did Native American church, enumerable sweat lodges, I became a Sundancer, and carry a pipe. I learned I was clairvoyant, empathic, and a seer.   Omg…seriously went against EVERYTHING I believed in. People where I came from made fun of people like me. Avoided them on the streets. Whispered behind their backs. Shielded their children from the “crazy old woman.”

And one of my biggest lessons was about to be given.

Was the draw of my soul’s longing stronger than my fear of being rejected? Not being liked? Made fun of?

Turns out it is stronger. I’m uncovering, daily, little bits and pieces of the puzzle of why I am here.   With each piece, I become more centered…more…well…me.

I was, and am, still a seeker….seeking higher knowledge and knowing. It’s in me…but there are ceremonies that I am strongly drawn to for answers.   I made the decision to go on a shamanic journey – a plant dieta.

My last night was my hell. I did not think I would make it through. Everything I had pushed down so deep inside was boiling out. Again, my mind had me convinced I would not make it. I was in a hell of my own making.

Just when I was about to give up….I heard it….a familiar sweatlodge song. Strong, strong voice.

“I’m here for you.”

Plainly spoken and clearly heard.

“You have a choice. You can stay in your hell, or you can choose to rise up like the Phoenix.”

He was gone.

I looked at the woman who was helping me.

“I’m going to make it.”

After the journey was over, I went to the man who sang the song and told him what a gift he was. He told me, “I always know what I am going to sing before I come. This time nothing came to me.   I didn’t know what I was going to sing, until I opened my mouth. I was transported into a hot, hot, sweat lodge. The kind that you feel your skin burning. I could only sing two verses, because it would have killed me. So I had to quit.”

That was it.

He was there helping me. On some other level, he knew. He knew what to sing. He could feel me burning in my hell. We were connected. Our souls knew.

He followed his intuition, and sang the song that pulled me out of my hell, and spoke the words I needed to hear.

“Rise up like the Phoenix.”

That is where this painting came from.

From my journey.

From me reconnecting with my soul.

You see, the Phoenix is me.  And you.




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