Tag Archives: spirits

Hope Rising

hoperisingOnce in a while someone pops into your life that you didn’t expect, or didn’t see coming, that you know is gonna make a huge difference in your life.   Most of the time it happens when you have let go of the expectation, desire or “need” to “find” that person.

And, almost 99.9% of the time, it is when you are completely happy with yourself.  Happy being yourself, in a state of just plain ole’ bliss.

It happened to me when I met my ex husband.  BANG….I was totally content being alone, going out with friends, and just having a good time being me.   My life was perfect without him….and then, it was perfect with him.  For twenty-five years.

Fast forward to the present.   I’ve been on quite a journey since deciding to leave my comfy marriage to a great guy…but, always looking outside of myself.

And, I made a totally conscious decision to go deep within to clear out some of my baggage that was keeping me from moving forward.   It has included some very deep soul searching, facing some shit I didn’t want to, or couldn’t face for some time.   It has involved a lot of writing and painting also….putting my soul on canvas.   Transparency seems to be my middle name.

A friend made a suggestion that I write down a list of what it was that I wanted in a significant other.  I took it one step further….I wrote down everything that I absolutely loved about every man that I have dated since leaving my marriage.  I found that doing it this way for me, allowed me to focus on all of the gifts that each one had given me….and why I enjoyed each and every one of them.

And then, I let go.

I left it up to the universe/god/spirit or whatever your belief system is.   I “let go and let god” so to speak.

Just when I had called it quits on the searching for someone….he popped in.

Someone filled with color.  Someone filled with passion.   Someone filled with orneriness, is happy, and is spiritual.   Someone filled with laughter, with twinkling eyes that sparkle when he gets tickled.   Someone who caught me off guard.  Someone who thinks I’m just as much of a prize as I think he is.

He makes me laugh.  He actually makes me feel like a giddy school girl again with a crush.

I have no idea where it is headed….and, for those of you who know me….I’m trying like hell to stay out of that fear place…that place of fear of abandonment.  That place of clingy/neediness.  Praying that my fear doesn’t take over.   Oh yeah, I still have stuff to work on, but he feels like someone who is willing to let me be me.

And just enjoying it for what it is.

This painting….is called Hope Rising.   For obvious reasons!!!

Much love always,


You are NOT alone….trust me.


So the other day I was discussing exactly what it means to me to “come out spiritually”…..and all of the emotion around it. Should I, shouldn’t I…and why the hell do I feel that it is so dang important…especially right now?     The only easy and quick answer I could come up with is that …..simply put….it’s time.    It’s time to share our experiences so we know we aren’t alone.  You are not alone with your experiences that make you feel crazier than a loon.

I’ll start by sharing a story – that to some may seem bizarre, or may have YOU believing that I am crazier than a loon!! (warning….seriously…you may think I’m off my rocker, but I encourage you to read all the way to the end.)

Shortly after I started my journey down this magical yellow brick road, I was dating a shaman.   He had been asked to come to the hospital to help a man who was dying along his journey.   I went along….just cuz.

It was clear he wasn’t going to be on this earthly plane much longer….and every time he stopped breathing….the family would say to him “Let go Daddy…you can go now”.  Which seemed to go on forever.

Until….I became aware of a presence next to me…  “Hey!”  I heard.  I looked around….there was no one there.   “Hey!” Then, I became aware of him.  “You see me.  I know it!”  No, I don’t.  “Yup!”  OKAY!  So I do.   “Will you do me a favor?” Generally, I’m not in the habit of saying no to spirits…  “Will you tell them I want to go when no one is here?”  Ok. I’ll do it.

Poof….he was gone.  And, I began to wonder if I’d imagined it…And…he came back…  “Please?”  Yes!  And then a vision was shown to me.   It was a crane, with a specific old pickup hanging below it and an American flag below that.

I contemplated how exactly to let then know what had just happened.    Would they believe me?  Would they think I was crazier than a loon.   It didn’t matter….I had to do it….and they said….ok….and left.   He crossed later that night after everyone had left.  Alone, in his chosen way. (duh – he said he wanted to be alone!)   I share with my shaman friend what the vision was that he had shown me.  He said to remember it…it would be important….

We went to the funeral – it was on a huge estate in Taos, NM…  TONS of people.   We drove and parked quite far away…and as we walked up I was hit…by the vision.   Right there in front of me was a firetruck – with its crane extended – and an American flag hanging off the end.  Below the bottom of the crane was parked (yup you can guess) – the old pickup that was in the vision.

Wow….So, I wasn’t loony…or crazy…or off my rocker.   At all…

The reason I share this with you is to let you know that I know many of us have these sort of stories…The kind of stories that when you repeat them, even YOU feel a little loony toons. (Ok…a LOT loony toons!)  Let alone what others may think.   But, we are not alone.

I encourage you to share…Here, if you want…you don’t have to state your name….   You can email me – [email protected] – You can message me on Facebook.

It’s time for us to realize that this is more common than we think.   It’s not the Salem witch trial thing (Oh…I know THAT strikes a chord with some of you)….   It really is more mainstream than you think.   All of us have synchronistic tales to tell, but we are afraid to tell them.

You are not alone….I assure you.

It’s time….to connect….like a web of light….circling the globe….it’s time.

You are NOT alone.

Love ya


I’m Coming Out…. Spiritually

….as a spiritual being having a human experience.  A lightworker Full-blown woo-woo.  Airy fairy. A spiritual warrior. A believer in metaphysics.  As one who believes that positive thinking and love can change the world.  Yup…there ya have it.   It’s my confession of the day.  Actually, it’s the confession of my life. It’s scary.  And exciting. … Continue Reading

Magic, just pure Magic

I had a marvelous weekend.   I just surrendered and allowed.  And it was magic, just pure magic.  And wonder, and grace and all of those phrases, and yet, describing the weekend with words makes it something that it was not. I spent Saturday with friends.  Talking and discussing the world, and events that we feel… Continue Reading

Celebrating Death

I’m in Kansas. Just married my daughter off in one of the most beautiful ceremonies ever (very prejudice here). Right before going to Mexico, we all got the news that my mom had a 90% occluded femoral artery and would require surgery on April 6th. During her pre-op exam – her chest x-ray reveal many… Continue Reading

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