Is following one’s intuition vs. what is “known” wrong? For example, you know that there is something that you “should” do, but somehow your inner knowing screams NOOOOOOOOOOOO, don’t do it!!!!
This comes up a lot for me. I knew that my marriage was over…and that I “should” stay in it. After all, I had it all, didn’t I? He was and still is an incredibly compassionate man, and he was willing to give me anything and everything that I asked for. And, yet, there was something missing.
And so, rather than stay in a marriage where everything was comfortable and easy, I chose (because of my intuition) to leave. The hardest decision in my life. He would have given me anything I wanted. But, he couldn’t give me what I needed the most – which was me. He would have been a bandaid for all of my inner turmoil. I would have kept pushing it down until the festering would have eventually erupted much like Mt. Vesuvius and buried me along with others that I had in my orbits. We all have our own ways of going on our journey’s and I knew that I needed to do this for me. I followed my intuition.
And…my life has been nothing short of magical since then. I would not have expanded my horizons. I would not have met the incredible people that I have met. My art, would not have shown the growth that I knew it was going to. I would not have started teaching, written a book, nor would I have taken the risks and chances I have since that time. I’ve grown in ways I could have never imagined. I have felt the fear…..and walked into it. Scary as hell sometimes….and oh so exhilarating. I celebrate every little victory. Sometimes a happy dance (like no one is watching!) and sometimes just quiet bath time with candles and music and wine (or scotch!). My life would have been status quo.
I am getting ready to make another leap of faith and possibly buying a small farmette (something I have dreamed of for ages) with a gigantic shed to teach in and host a wide variety of different workshops. Because I believe (as a very wise man told me) that a gift given is a gift to give.
Teaching not only benefits the students….but, it benefits me. The exchange of energy is nothing sort of amazing! It wipes me out, and recharges my soul. I feel like I have finally found my place. My place in my soul. That which I came here to do. I’m very transparent – a gift and a curse – but essential to why I am here.
I’m so blessed to know so many of you….And am grateful for your presence in my little artsy, fartsy, quirky world.
To order My Lyrical Journey: How I painted My Heart Wide Open…click here
A review of the book.
“What a gift it is to be invited into Paula’s personal journey and transformation through the pages of My Lyrical Journey. You truly are never too old to begin a new chapter in your life. Being authentic means loving yourself is not a luxury, but rather a necessity. Beautiful messages like those are shared throughout the book. I’m so grateful Paula found the courage to share her journey with all of us.” Tracy C.