Category Archives: Artistic Musings

What if…..

I want to play a game….A game called “What If”.  I just recently finished a series on Netflix called Travelers…For those of you who have seen it, you know there was a HUGE cliffhanger.  For those of you who don’t know anything about the series…the cliff notes are that people “traveled” from the future, to fix the past. And, it got me thinking.

What if we are travelers?  What if we came here to fix the past?  Far-fetched??  Maybe.  Or…..maybe not.

What if we are given all of the tools to figure out what to do this lifetime….ie….astrology, tarot, numerology, AND intuition….and the reason why we hesitate to speak out that we believe in our tools, is because it is looked at as being crazy?  Look at the media – it’s full of stories making people who believe in this seem crazy.  An episode of Friends comes to mind where Phoebe was talking about something “out there” and she was made to look like a ditz (Ok…she was a bit of a ditz…but, you get the idea.)  It happens all the time.

What if food really IS medicine, and yet, we are controlled through fear by the pharmaceutical companies to believe that if we don’t take medicine, we will die. (Ok, a bit dramatic, but, there is some truth to my statement!)  Example:  You all may know that I was diagnosed with Lyme disease…I choose to go to a Doctor who treats “dis-ease” naturally…supplements, etc.  In addition to that, I also started following the Medical Medium, and started juicing – mostly celery juice – every morning.  Last visit – no more Lyme!!!   Also, food for thought here….why is it that over 80 holistic practitioners have met with untimely deaths?  (Starting to see a pattern?  Cuz, I am.)

What if Trump is Hitler reincarnated and we are being given a second chance to right the wrongs that were committed in the past?  Thousands are waking up every day….and, I believe one of the reasons is to bring light into the world.  (I may be met with opposition with this statement – but it is MOO – My Opinion Only – and I am entitled to it – just sayin!)

What if there really ARE angels and guides and beings that are sent to you to help you find your way?  I know I believe – it seems every time I ask for signs….they come.

What if we are here just to play this game called LIFE, and the winners are the ones who find their way to joy, love and compassion?  I’m not saying that you need to be “woke” to play the game…..there are thousands who contribute….just by being who they are.   But, what if all of the players on the team need each other – no matter how seemingly insignificant they are….because…what if….that smile from the man who works at Panera totally makes your day, and makes you grateful to be alive?

Please feel free to add your “What-ifs”…I’d love to hear them.

May We Walk together as one….because we truly do.

Paula

 

 

The #toomuchwoman

The #toomuchwoman Angel
The #toomuchwoman Angel

I think that many of us can agree….it’s been a year….a year of ups and downs…a year of change…a year of rebirth….especially for those of us that have chosen a spiritual path.  I think to say that it has been a year filled with lessons, aha’s, and growth would probably minimize what most of us have felt.

One of the things I have had to learn how to do is to be quiet.  Hard for this grand fire trine woman, but, one of the things that I have figured out is that the answers lie in the quiet.  I’ve been such a “doer” all my life, that being forced to be quiet (if you don’t do what GUS – God, Universe, Spirit – is asking – “he” will find a way to MAKE you do it!), has been one of the most challenging lessons of all for me.

I’ve been forced to take a lot of “down” time, but, it hasn’t been unproductive at all.  Even with the move, I’ve chosen to “do” things I wouldn’t normally do.  One of the most rewarding experiences for me has been taking time to read a plethora of journals and sketch books that I have kept since consciously committing to the life of a lightworker.

It’s been a year of muddling through the muck….feeling like a failure….and wondering why.

But, so many things came together for me while reading my Pollyanna musings the past few days.

Depression, apathy, and everything that goes with it, have been my closest friends the past 6 (or more) months.

Pollyanna had gone missing.

Reading my journals brought me right back to square one.  The reason why I am here.

Frequently in my writings, I stated that I am not everyone’s cup of tea…that I am different…sometimes feeling alone….sometimes lonely….but, I wouldn’t trade this path for anything.

I’ve always been a #toomuchwoman for most people.

A catalyst.

One that makes statements that people frequently look at me with the WTF stare!

I lost that this year.  I shrank.  I became less than.  I thought I needed to be the person that others expected me to be.

AND, I got sick because my mind, body and spirit were not in alignment.

However, in the spirit of total transparency, (which is one of the reasons I am here), it’s been a good thing for me to be aware of.

One of my HUGE issues is people pleasing.  Worrying about what they think of me.  Wondering if they think I’m crazy.

This is the year I am giving that up.

I’ve realized that who I am, is one who helps others not feel alone by writing my stories. Sharing my lessons.  My aha’s.  My growth, and my setbacks.  The number of people that write me and tell me their stories is mind-blowing sometimes, and I would not have it any other way.  I always try to hold sacred space for those who are hurting, and willing to move forward, but, I don’t hold space for those who insist on staying in their victim mentality.

My circle of friends is much smaller.  Quality over quantity.

I’ve had many mentors over the years and the ones I respect and honor the most, are the ones who aren’t afraid to also share their process.  The ones who will say, “Yeah, life sucks sometimes…..but that is where the growth occurs….”.  I know when someone is honest, and when someone is blowing smoke up my ass.  Most of the time, I honor my intuition, and when I don’t, I’m grateful for the lesson. (Most of the time!!!)

One of the biggest things I’ve become acutely aware of is how tightly we are interwoven.  Personally, I gain strength from those who have had their feet held to the fire, and walk through it.  For those of you, I am grateful.  And, conversely, I am also grateful to those who choose not to also, because, I know that there is no shame in playing it safe – it’s just not for me.

This post is to say THANK YOU for each and every one of you who have impacted my life in one way or another.  I would not be the person I am today, had it not been for you.

May We Walk Together As One.

Much Love,

Paula

 

 

Not even my family, nor my closest friends know….

…..the extent of my depression.  Because, I cover it up.  Sometimes, I cover it up well, sometimes, not so much.  It’s debilitating at times, and at other times, it’s manageable.  But, it is always present.  Even as a small child, and young adult, I remember wanting to not be here.  Lately, though, it has been… Continue Reading

What is a “Mentor”?

A “mentor” or mentoring is described as: Mentoring consists of a long-term relationship focused on supporting the growth and development of the mentee. The mentor becomes a source of wisdom, teaching, and support, but not someone who observes and advises on specific actions or behavioral changes in daily work. Notice I put “mentor” in quotes….Something… Continue Reading

Trust YOUR intuition (and while you’re at it stop listening to your DAMN ego!)

I have two very vulnerable stories about not trusting MY intuition, (instead accepting someone else’s!), and listening to my ego… A very large portion of artists’ DREAM of being in galleries. I’ve been no exception. Which has led me to lesson learning. LESSON ONE Three years ago I was contacted by a gallery in England. … Continue Reading

About Paula
Raven Shaman