Category Archives: Artistic Musings

Receiving the Messages

Receiving the Messages (16 x 20)
Receiving The Messages

It’s been an incredibly enlightening journey to Taos this time.  I’ve been super meditative – stipping 1200 Sq. feet of very stubborn tile can do that.

The one clear message I have received is how important it is to be authentically me. In every aspect in my life.  To look at the lessons that are unique to me.

I know I am to paint my journey.  To be vulnerable in what I write (and paint).  So that others who are also on this spiritual journey, this consciousness awakening don’t feel crazy and/or alone.  Because there are parts of this path that are totally crazy making.

I tried an experiment this last year in October.  As most of you know, I have been known as a cow painter.  It allowed me to visit a part of my life here that is full of fond memories of a simple time spent on my Grandparents farm when I was younger.   Two of my galleries that I love asked me to paint cows so that they could have more inventory from me.  I did.  Against my intuition about what I was supposed to be painting.  And guess what???  Not a single one has sold!  That’s because, my soul was not in that part of my life any longer.  Oh yes, the fond memories are still there, but, I am at a different part of my journey now.

I know that this situation presents a certain dilemma.  Do I paint for others?  Or do I paint what I am being guided to paint?  Same with my writing.  Do I risk being looked at or thought of a crazy lady on some sort of funky, odd, out of the ordinary (and most definitely out of the box!!) misunderstood journey?  Putting myself out there in a way that I never that I would ever do and or risk doing?  Exposing my inner most thoughts at the risk of being totally disowned as a family member or friend?

I’ve been on the fence around this for quite some time.

Yet, I know my answer.

If I assist just ONE person to find their way through just one small part of their journey, and they in turn pay it forward, then I’ve done my “job”.

We are all so interconnected, a golden web…not one of us makes a move without affecting others.

So, I know why I’m here…


I used to ask a very wise man that question all the time at the beginning of my journey.  His answer was always the same.  BE WHO YOU ARE!!!

I would whine – “But, what does that mean?  What I am ‘supposed’ to paint?”  Followed by, “WHY AM I HERE?”

“Be who you are little one.”

So, this is me, being me.

I love what I paint. I know they are strange paintings, and I know they may make one think.

I have to do this.

I have to be me.

Here’s to you being you.

Message received.





This started as a regular ole post, and when I started writing, I was aware that there was more to say than I thought about this subject…  So, here are my musings for the day.
Once you commit to a spiritual path…you will start learning lessons to help you become….well…the best version of you that you came to be.
The lessons…at first….will be challenging (to say the least)…and you may want to quit.  It’s not all namaste and unicorns farting glitter filled rainbows.
But, you can’t unknow what you already know.  There will be a period that you question why you said yes, and a phase of anger, confusion and “why me”.
Then, you release, relax, regroup and really start listening.
Everything happens for a reason and, even though you might not be able to see those reasons immediately,  eventually  (if you can drop the “victim” act), you are rewarded with answers.
The lessons get deeper and more profound much like a spiral…there are more and more layers to every lesson.
I like to compare it to one of those gumball machines that drop the gumball in a spiral…before you get your reward…it gets intense…always revisiting the same place, but deeper.
You can’t stop the gumball, but, you can watch in fascination as that colorful ball gets closer and closer to your possession.
It’s about the process – and whether or not you are in a position to react, respond, or just release and allow.
Every learning experience is different and it is up to each one of us to decipher what is true for ourselves.  Is this Karma?  A lesson?  A soul contract?
I’ve noticed a big change in my art since this last “growth” (translation – lots of lessons and AHA moments) period.
My palette has changed.
The messages are more lighthearted.
I accept who I am more.  I respond rather than react more.  Or, I don’t respond at all.  I’m happier.  I don”t feel the need to be “coupled”.  I enjoy nature more often.  I’m good with being quiet and alone.
This painting – Transfiguration – reflects me leaving the old me behind and becoming…well….more me than I ever have been.  It’s a blend of my old and my new style.  Very raw and vulnerable, AND, unfinished.  Kinda like we all are.  A work in progress.  The shadow side is still present, and beautiful.
If it hadn’t been for a small handful of people that I honor, respect and trust, I would have still arrived here, just not quite as fast as I did….for those people, I am truly grateful.  They listened, and offered advice when it was needed (and one, still occasionally uses a 2 x 4 – but, she is my go to for blunt honesty, and I LOVE her for that!!!).
Blessings to all of you who have chosen this incredible journey to yourself.
I want you to know that you are never alone.
May we walk together as one.
PS….Still much more deepening of the lessons.  I’ll never “arrive”, but will continually be amazed at everything I learn.
AND,  be grateful.

Outside of Her Comfort zone

Strange painting, I know.  But, I felt driven to create it….and then waited patiently for it’s message.  Not all paintings are meant to be masterpieces.   Some are created to push oneself.  To try new techniques and materials.  To go where one has not gone before. And, then it came. The message. GO OUTSIDE OF YOUR…Continue Reading

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