Category Archives: Spiritual Aha

Angel Fire Sculptures….Why???

Indeed Paula Jean….Why?  When you were perfectly happy painting and relearning abstracts?  Why sculptures?  And why now?

It seems since I have started painting at age 45 – every five years I try something different – but, creative.  At 50 – it was writing.  At 55, I published a book.  Now, it seems that I am totally obsessed with creating Angels in Metal….And, guess what?  I turn 60 in a matter of days!!!

I absolutely LOVE this medium!!!

I continually ask for signs that this is the direction that I am supposed to go.  I KNOW my guides are getting tired of the constant asking – but they continue to answer!!!

Everything has fallen into place so easily…so much so…that there is this old part of me that keeps saying “It’s too good to be true.” And, yet, there is this new part of me that keeps saying thank you to GUS! (God, Universe, Spirit)

I’ve learned that I am a true creative – that I need to be challenged to learn how to be creative in MANY ways, not just in one.  This is requiring me to think differently…to rediscover parts of my brain that were on auto pilot.  I’ve had to work through feeling guilty (just a tiny bit) about being perceived as a “flaky” sort of artist – but, all I know is that this feels more right than anything else I have ever done in my life….and it makes me over the top happy….so, I’m going to follow this path.

I’m finding that all I want to do is create these Angel Fire Sculptures – in spite of the horrid heat and humidity that we have here right now.  I go into this meditative trance almost every time I work on them.  Time flies.  I forget to eat.  I forget to drink (really bad thing in this heat!).  Before I know it, it’s noon (I have been starting at 5 or 6 to try and beat the hot weather!)

Every part of the process, I love.  Creating the patina.  Drawing the angels.  Cutting them out.  Welding the wings and halos on.  Putting them on bases….or not.  Each one created with love.

Right now, I have no desire to paint – but, if I have to be honest with myself and you, I haven’t had much desire for the past six months….Abstracts revved my engine up….a lot….but….then, I met Barry in Alabama.  He taught me how to cut.  How to weld.  And, most importantly, how to be happy with whatever I choose to do.

GUS certainly has played a role in all of this…from staying across the road from Barry, to him teaching me, to being accepted to the Vintage Home Temp Market (almost a whole month after the deadline), to finding someone to build a wall for me, help moving, yada, yada, yada…..And, of course, the biggest sign of all – I’ve sold over 30 of these angels since I started less than a month ago!!!

I’m in production mode now – and I’m finding that I enjoy this sort of a task…which surprises the crap outta me!!!   Normally, I want to stay footloose and fancy free.  Schedules and being with people has made me cringe.  Maybe it’s age.  Maybe it’s finally grounding my grand fire trine.  Or, maybe it’s just time.

Whatever it is – I really can honestly say that I’ve never, ever, ever, ever, EVER been this happy in my life!!!!!

Blessing to you all, and I’m so honored that you are in my life.

May We Walk Together As One.




Fill your vessel with Love

You cannot serve from an empty vessel.

Eleanor Brownn

This painting has had a profound impact on me.  I’ve been in tears all morning since creating it. (I still can’t look at it without getting teary eyed!) Yesterday was a play day for me, after receiving Robert Burridge’s course in the mail on how to paint abstracts and how to loosen up.  One of the things he is pretty emphatic about is taking time to write down your intentions before you start painting.  And, to at least do three paintings in a series…this is the second one.

My intention was fairly general – I wanted to paint about LOVE.  I’ve had a history of “filling my vessel” with men, who have all been great teachers of lessons (translation – looking for myself in others!).  Frequently during my time of seeking – ie going from relationship to relationship – I have been told I need to focus on me, and not on being in a relationship.  Which, of course, pissed me off, and, well, in true “Paula” fashion – made me date and seek more.

I have been out of any sort or type of relationship now for over a year – slowly dissecting why and what makes me tick – and why I have chosen the relationships that I have in the past.  It’s been both excruciatingly painful, and immensely rewarding.

Anyway, back to the painting and intention of yesterday.  After writing my intention down, I turned on my Pandora station to The Monkees (tell me – Was Davy Jones was YOUR crush too!?), and I’m a Believer came on..  It starts – “I thought love was only true in fairy tales.  Planned for someone else, but not for me.”  GUS at work.  Was this true for me?  Did I feel unworthy of love?

The second “sign” of the day from GUS was a heart shaped rock RIGHT OUTSIDE MY STUDIO!  I walk that path a billion times a day. (OK – not a billion, but you know what I mean.)

Growing Love

And then, the painting….DAMMIT JANET….A vessel (they had been showing up in my paintings for a couple of weeks) and a heart growing out of it.

And not a heart in the traditional sort of kitchy style – My style – my colors – my composition.

Was it time to really look deep?

Was it time to finally accept that I am worthy?

Was it time to just let go and surrender to what is?

Was it time to stop listening to what others say I “should” do?

Is it time to finally accept all of me?  The good, the bad, and the beautiful?

I know that these paintings are very different…and actually…..after painting this one yesterday….I honestly thought I might not share it, and I most definitely figured I would paint over it, and my galleries tell me that they cannot sell heart paintings….and….really….it was just play for me.  (Was that a run-on sentence, or what?  And, did it make ANY SENSE?)


I think it’s time.

Time to stop comparing.

Time to stop trying to be everything to everyone.

Time to stop beating myself up.

Time to fill my vessel with LOVE.

May We Walk Together As One


Deeply Personal AHA

…That I feel drawn to share….It’s pretty vulnerable….but, a fairly large breakthrough. A friend of mine (A) was sharing a story about a mutual friend (B) who is dating a multitude of women right now….the friend’s comment was basically “More power to him!”. I was triggered.  (And probably not in the way that you are… Continue Reading

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Raven Shaman