Category Archives: Spiritual Aha

A$$hole comment….

Yada, Yada, Yada (24 x 24)….and I knew it.  It hit a deep wound.  And I knew it.  I responded, even though I knew exactly what was going on.  I couldn’t help myself.

I have a new soft shell (I’m a Cancer) that I have recently grown.  I’m vulnerable – hell, we all are – when we are trying on something new and stepping into who we are.  It takes a SHIT TON of courage to do this work.  I’m not just speaking for myself, I’m saying this for all of us!

And, I know anytime that we choose to put our authentic selves out there that it’s risky.  We open ourselves up to criticism, and we know it’s coming, but we do it anyway.  BECAUSE WE HAVE TO.

I can’t speak for others, but, I think I can give a voice to artists…at least those who are going outside of their comfort zone, and being authentic to who they are, and painting what their soul is begging them to paint.

As an artist, what we paint – for the most part – is who we are.  It’s our emotional being on canvas.  It’s our soul expressing itself.  It’s very difficult to separate who we are from what we do.   I think that most artists feel this way.

I have a pretty tough shell when it comes to constructive criticism….like – you need more darks, more contrast, the composition is a bit wonky, etc etc.  I actually welcome CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.  I always open to learning.  As most of us are.

But I am not open to this:  “This painting is awful.  It looks like Dolly Parton on a bad hair day on drugs.”

And then he went on to compare me to James Bama, who is a great, VERY traditional artist, and does not paint in my style at all.   He paints the seen.  I paint the unseen.  The visions, the messages.

There is no comparing.

He couldn’t paint what I paint…but, I can still paint traditionally.

I responded and first of all said – “Thank God, not all of us like the same art. And I’m grateful that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

And then, a reaction, “Didn’t your mother teach you if you couldn’t say anything nice, then say nothing at all?”

He continued….with a lot more condescending rhetoric….that pushed every single button, all my wounding, all my doubts and fears.

Delete and ban.

I’m not sharing this with you for you to get on the “f*** him” bandwagon.

I’m sharing it, because we can choose to allow it to affect us, or we can delete and ban. It happens to all of us who are stepping up and into who we are.  Our intuition is strong.  Our desire to be ourselves is strong.  Our passion about our paths is even stronger.

I don’t know this man…but, I suspect that he is unhappy.  And that is not my problem.  I can choose to let him affect me (and, I have got to admit – it did – a bit more than a bit), or I can know that I am just not gonna be everyone’s cup of tea.

Still learning those never ending lessons….as you know….they keep circling around (and give me GREAT blog fodder!!)

May we walk together as one


PS…I’ll bet he hates Georgia and Jackson too…#just sayin




I’m wondering why????

Nothing to Hide (36 x 36)This “artistic” mind of mine is always going….seeking….curious….

I never know what I will decide to write and/or paint next.   I listen.  I cuss.  I get into a panic about whether or not I’ll ever paint again.  I worry about whether or not people will like me.   I wonder if people will “get me”.  A LOT.

I had a fabulous discussion this morning that got my thinker going again.  It’s one that used to come up for me a lot any time I posted something that I was afraid might be controversial.  I tried to stay in my safe little “don’t rock the boat” world.  Any time anyone unsubscribed from my email list, I spiraled down, down, DOWN.  “OMG….why don’t they like me?  I shouldn’t have written that!  You are just a loser, Paula.”

I would also do this when someone would reply to a post on my Facebook page and challenge my beliefs.   I would try to get them to see WHY I wrote and/or painted what I did.


My opinions, my beliefs, are just that….MINE.  I’m always open to thoughtful, conscious, respectful discussion about most things.  I don’t try to push my agenda on anyone, instead, I hope that what I write about lets others know that they are not alone.  When someone posts something contrary to what I believe, I ask questions….because I believe that understanding where someone is coming from leads to more compassion and love in this world.

However, when someone is downright hateful, and judgemental on my page, and I have made an attempt to understand their side, and they don’t feel the need to respond, I wonder – what makes that person make those sort of statements rather than scrolling on by?

Wouldn’t it just be easier to unfriend, unfollow, delete or block someone that you don’t agree with their opinion rather than taking valuable time writing all the reasons why the other person is wrong?

Social media allows people to say shit they would never say to someone’s face.  Examples of my own personal experience are this:  “Angels don’t have boobs…they would be better painted without them!” (To that I wanted to respond – “And how many angels have YOU seen?”)  “If you would give yourself to the Lord, I feel you would be so much happier”.  (Honestly, I am pretty dang happy in my little world.)

I don’t have my panties in a bunch over this….I’m just musing out loud.

May we walk together as one.


PS – Now, when I get an unsubscribe from my newsletter, I know that my message does not resonate with that person, and it makes me happy that they have chosen to not allow something into their life that isn’t authentic to them.


……Or, as many of you know I would actually say WTF??? I posted a painting the other day from a new series that is asking to be created, around the Tarot.  Don’t ask me why I am painting these, because I don’t have a clear answer….yet….except I think that what happened may just be a…Continue Reading

I chose consciousness…

….before I even knew the meaning of the word.  Before I knew what it entailed…   I didn’t just CHOOSE it, I said, “Bring it on!”.  Lord god…. I was so unhappy.  Like, always sick, unhappy.  Like, knowing that there was more to life than what I was experiencing.  Like there was something else out there.…Continue Reading

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