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Canyon Road, baby!

I knew when my art did a MAJOR shift, coupled with several mind, body and spirit purges, that my life was getting ready to rearrange in a huge way.

Every time I shift series….my art flies out the window. Until it doesn’t and I paint over those that don’t sell for the next series. Always having fun and creating something.

These are different.

A few sold. But not like usual. They received sometimes upwards of 800 plus reactions on Facebook. With tons of ooo’s and ah’s.

My standard reaction would normally be…oh well.. I gave it my best shot..time to move on…and promptly follow the next squirrel on my path. Always using the paintings that didn’t sell as a base for my new ones.

I could NOT for the life of me even CONSIDER painting over these. Perhaps add color or marks. But NOT the whole painting. They literally have blood (well, not blood), sweat and tears in them. Each one contains messages and lessons.

And depth. So so so many layers. So much letting go of control.

So, I listened to my intuition which said…there is a reason…just fully trust and surrender.

AND continued to create because I felt driven.

My human design says that opportunities must come to me to be truly authentic…I must not seek.

Difficult for a doer.

I meditated. I got lost in my creations. I surrendered.

I could feel something brewing.

It came.

“Interest in your artwork.”

As artists we’ve all received those.

I paused.

The return address was Canyon Contemporary.

Oh holy moly.

I spoke with friends and family and convinced myself…by making SOOO much shit up…that there was no way because of x, y and z.

Turns out, that was definitely about worthiness…after all…this is the NFL for the art world, and I’m highly aware of how many artist submissions are sent there…because I have done it. It’s Canyon Road guys. An artists wet dream.

She called me. We spoke for close to 2 hours…and we could have spoken for 2 more.

She’s doubling her gallery space. She’s decreasing her amount of artists…and adding one.

Her vision for her gallery space is what and why I know art is created from and for…(did that make sense?)

All of my excuses crumbled.. honestly…I’m a bit afraid of this growth…but I know that GUS totally orchestrated the whole shebang because of how it unfolded.

We discussed my excuses and she made me feel safe and addressed my concerns with honesty and integrity.

Turns out…I’m worthy. I’m worthy of being in a gallery on Canyon Road in Santa Fe. Please hear that I don’t think that I’m all that, etc etc etc. I’m just finally to a place on my journey that…most of the time…I can see the gift of every moment. AND, they keep reminding me to share that THIS is what happens when you have faith and put no parameters on what you are manifesting.

This gallery space is already expanding consciousness….and I am so grateful to be assisting in the shifting of humanity…just by being me.

Plus….I get to go back to my beloved New Mexico.

It looks like 2024 is a huge year for faith, trust, and surrender.

Oh…and guess who the one artist she’s adding is?

three guesses.. first two don’t count.

It’s time to get eyes on this art and the healing vibrations that they carry.

still giddy

might last for a hot minute

makes me so excited for the light

Humility and Grace

Wow…ok…I’ve procrastinated as much as I can…

I uncovered a huge wound that brought me to my knees last night…brought in through a mirror lesson….and as I’m sifting through…I hear…

“You know, you have to share.”

I ignored that statement.

“Paula, someone needs to hear this.”

But…it’s deep and humbling and and and and

“We know this will be challenging for you…and it’s time.”


Narcissism runs in my family. It’s an ancestral program. Lately, anytime someone posts about narcissists, I’ve gotten triggered.

I find myself defending them.


I can feel the wounding of said narcissist.

I’ve posted similar meme’s and pointed fingers frequently.

Judgement big time.

Yesterday I got triggered by a practiced narcissist. They made a statement about me that is so far from the truth and so ridiculous that I had to take a step back and look at it for what it was.

I had had a serious fairly blunt convo with said person because I love them and I could see how they were sabotaging their growth AND I recognized behavior that I myself was very familiar with. Time after time after time ad nauseum I pushed away my lesson and played the victim. After all…it’s so much easier to place blame outside rather than take responsibility for it. And they did what I would do, and have done…their intention was to discredit me. And make me less than.

When someone DARED to call ME on MY shit, or distance themselves from me. I….and this is the most vulnerable part of the whole post….and embarrasses the shit outta me now that I’ve seen it…I would talk smack about said person.

So, I’ve been there and done that. It’s ugly. Really ugly. So I have compassion for said person. BIG COMPASSION…as my Dad always said…”There but for the Grace of God, go I”.

Narcissistic behavior at its finest.

Learned AND ancestral.

I’m sharing this because deep inside…I knew it…incredibly buried…and any time it would start to surface, I’d push it back down…

Until it made me really REALLY sick.

All of this to say…I truly believe narcissist’s are deeply wounded little children inside, and this is the only way they know how to be…until they can no longer NOT look at it.

There are some who will never be able to look this deeply…because, I’m telling you, it’s fucking painful.

I’m beyond grateful for the beautiful beings who have helped me work through this. The ones who cut me out of their lives because of it…and the ones who loved me in spite of it…both were/are essential for this beautiful realization and growth.

Now that I’ve uncovered it…I could go into my typical “nobody likes me, everybody hates me” routine that is familiar…but that Paula is in her death throes.

Well..honestly…that was cathartic…and scary af.

The next scary step is hitting that post button..

What if I get judged?

What if people don’t like me because of it?

If I am, and they don’t…then that is as much a part of the lesson as this is.

I love all y’all who are walking with me regardless of whether or not you are aware…

We are all one…and walking one another home.

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About Paula
Raven Shaman
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