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Dreaming of a place

Dreaming of a place….with BIG expansive views, at least two acres, a barn, with room to have a studio to have a variety of workshops, room for critters, open kitchen for entertaining, and a great bathtub…with windows to see outside…
…..oh, and a wood burning stove…

I want to share a story about this painting that I painted this past fall. I’ve always had a dream of living on a farm. I’ve done it twice in my lifetime, and have miss it terribly.

Twice in the past ten years, I’ve passed up opportunities to purchase two small farms….although, I don’t regret it, because I know it led to the perfect place, but, for a few years, it would keep me up at night, partially beating myself up, and yet, there was always hope.

A few months ago I had a reading from a psychic, and she told me I would be moving to a sacred place….and she told me it would be before the end of the year. I laughed….after all, I was just finally feeling settled.

Then, two months ago, I started getting the itch again about a farm.

The hunt was on like donkey kong.

But, in the past few years, our housing market has skyrocketed here. We are the fastest growing market in the United States right now. I found several small tracts of land with no workshop, 5 acres, and a trailer…I found run down houses…But, OMG, WAYYYYYY over $275,000 plus.

I had a friend suggest that I look in SW Missouri.

Why not?

It’s only 3 miles from me.

And there it was.

My house on the hill. Not red like in the painting, but a red deck. No bathtub with a view, but, I have plans to build an outside bathing spot…complete with candles, plants, and lots and lots of flower essences. Which I plan to grow on the farm.

Lots of workshops. A loafing shed for animals. Good fencing.

I made a very difficult decision for me. I made the decision to finally move to my farm. Angel Fire Farm. On Engle Lane – which translates in German to Angel.

Everything unfolded perfectly. Like it was meant to be.

I’d be lying if I told you I’ve not had moments of doubt, and overwhelming feelings of “WTF have I done” have taken me over like demons in the night, but, my angels keep giving me signs, and I am trusting the process more.

There have been hurdles, but, I’ve realized that the answer lies in how I react to the hurdles, not in the hurdles themselves.

I’ll admit to feeling crazy….however, it just feels right.

Thank you all for supporting me, and believing in me….

I just want you all to know that your dreams can come true….You just have to believe in them…and be willing to slay your own demons….it’s the only thing that lies between you and your dreams.

May We Walk Together As One

Paula

I asked for help…

And, it wasn’t easy.

This past week was a lesson learning/tweaking week – which translates to….OMG, SERIOUSLY???? WTF!!!

Initially, with each lesson I went to my pity party/woe is me/blah, blah, blah, and yada space.

But, with all of the energies that are here to support us through this time…each time, but one, I was able to see the gift of the lesson rather rapidly.

The one that I needed help for, was to ask for love.

wow

seriously, Paula? You can’t ask for love?

shit – this is a big one.

My son had to go to the Emergency Room on Friday morning. He was in horrible pain, and suspected kidney stones…

I texted a dear friend…The first thing he asked was: “How is he?” The second thing he asked was: “And how are you?” I wasn’t sure how to respond. I don’t remember, with a few exceptions, anyone ever asking me that. It took me a while. “I could use a hug.” His answer: “I wish I could be there to hug you.”

tears.

lots and lots of tears.

I wrote an extremely vulnerable post on Facebook, because, once I felt that sort of compassion, and love…I found I needed more.

Here it is:

Most of the time, I don’t mind being alone, I’m actually happy….most the time. Today however is one of those days that I wish I had support… I received tons of virtual hugs… But a real hug, and being able to cry in somebody’s arms… Would have been most welcome.

Dropped my son off at the emergency room and couldn’t go in…

And, because I was able to be vulnerable and raw, I received more love than I’ve ever dreamed possible….and the floodgates opened.

You may tell me that I need to reach down deep inside of me and find the love that I craved inside of me….

But, I needed connection.

Wow.

I NEEDED connection.

I NEEDED CONNECTION!!!

Me, the one who is an introvert and loves spending time alone.

I think, right now, more than ever we all do.

And, I asked for help. In spite of my fear of doing so.

Where does that fear of asking for help come from?

I think mine comes from my mother who did not approving of my divorce. She made it quite clear that she thought I was making the biggest mistake of my life. And so, I vowed to be strong….to show her that I was ok. Now I know that her thoughts were actually fueled by love but I didn’t know it then.

Something shifted for me on Friday. Something huge. As I said earlier we are so supported throughout this time of massive change. And for all of us that are able to learn our lessons with grace – believe it or not – we help others do the same.

We came here for these times. We agreed that we wanted to be on Earth to help with the biggest shift (to 5D and beyond) that we have ever experienced. We are all warrior Gods and Goddesses that begged to be here – now! We knew what the difficulties were going to be. And we said “Hell yeah!! I wanna be in on this!!!”

I believe in all of your abilities to navigate these changes with grace – and please, don’t forget to reach out for help when you need it. That’s why we chose to be here!!

May We Walk Together As One.

Paula

Nasty Woman/Sweet Soul

Or….Things aren’t always what they appear to be….until you look below the surface. So, I had a “thing” happen yesterday. I received a text from a woman who purchased one of my angels. She was adamant about having this particular angel… “Angel here and I am most unhappy. One arm, no blue on her anywhere,… Continue Reading

Angels Among Us

This is the story of the Angels….Angel Fire Sculptures….and how they were born… Two years ago, I asked for recommendations on where to go in Agnes….I always went to the SW, but, I was obviously needing a change…My gallery owner and his wife in Birmingham offered to let me part in their driveway at their… Continue Reading

Heal the world

Many of us came here from the stars….Each having a specific “job” to do to help heal humanity. Yesterday, I was guided to paint something I might normally not paint. Star people. I sat in meditation for the majority of the day to receive the message. The download that I received from this painting was… Continue Reading

I found them!

Or, actually they found me. Or maybe it was just GUS (God, Universe, Spirit) at work…My tiospaye….My Family…. In the Lakota culture, the word tiospaye encompasses the conviction that family is not only made up of immediate blood relatives, but also extends to all those within their tribal clan. It was so synchronistic, that I… Continue Reading

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