Tag Archives: Beauty

Lessons from a Weed Garden – Part two

momstreeOnce again….the weeds (and wildflower garden) have lessons to teach.   I’ve been gone pretty much full time from my home Esperanza in Taos, NM on Hondo Mesa for a little over two years.

In two years of neglect, a lot can happen in a yard that used to be lovingly tended on a regular basis.

Opportunistic weeds come in and threaten to take over….They call to the other weeds….”Grow here…it’s bad soil and doesn’t get much water!” Wildflowers die because of the harsh climate and no water.   Old growth and death take over.

The climate here is unforgiving, and yet beautiful.  It’s rough and dry sometimes in the summer, and cold in the winter.

There are places where the weeds and the flowers are so tightly clumped that I opt to leave the weeds, in order to have the beauty of the flowers.

There are a plethora of thorny trees that take over if allowed.

And yet, I persevere.

I work on one part of the yard, and one issue and then move to another part of the yard, so no part feels neglected.

It’s meditative time.

Time to reflect.

Esperanza called me back to pull weeds. Her weeds and MY weeds.

Those “things” that no longer belong in my life. People, things, beliefs and thoughts.

I move from place to place in the yard and listen to the messages.


“Even though you haven’t been ‘watering and tending’ your spiritual garden, Paula, doesn’t mean that you can’t come back even more beautiful than before. It takes daily practice, daily weeding, water and love.”

“Watch your thoughts, because much like the opportunistic weeds that call to the other ones, so too, what you are thinking will multiply.”

“Sometimes, like the tight clumps of weeds mixed with the flowers, you have to learn to take the ‘good’ with the ‘bad’.”

“It’s time to cut out those in your life that are thorny, and damaging to you, thoughts, patterns and people.”

“Work on one part of what you are trying to eliminate from your life, and when that gets overwhelming, go to the next thing. It doesn’t have to be done all at once. Take your time, see what needs attention, and do that.


Nature….sigh….such a teacher.

Be quiet, and listen to your heart and your yard….the answers are there.

Yes, Esperanza, I needed to pull weeds…I needed to get rid of patterns that no longer serve me.  I needed to do this work. I’ve been avoiding it, because it felt overwhelming. But, much like your oasis that had been neglected, I know there is beauty to be seen, experienced and enjoyed.

“I” have to do the work….no one can do it for me.



Lost Angel

There are times in everyone’s life when they question.  Everything.  There are times of fear and despair.  There are just times when you question.

For me, I know (now) that these are times to go within and be introspective.  Time to paint.  Time to be good to myself.   Time to work things out in my head.  And my heart.  Time to let come through me what is supposed to come through me.

I’m lucky, and blessed because I can paint through these times.   And, if I am gentle with myself, (rather than beating myself up), the answers come.  They come on canvas.

We tend to think that if we are in one of these spots that somehow that makes us flawed.  I look (NOW) at these times as gifts.  I try, (sometimes it is difficult) to look at them as times of growth and change.  I try, (again, difficult) to see these times as time to readjust something in my life that is not authentic.

Why did my stomach go into knots?  Why did I feel such a visceral response?  Why did it make me want to run and hide?  Why did it make me want to go back into victim mode?

This time, I decided to paint through it.  Which I have in the past, but never knowing that, given space and time, that the answers would come.

We all have darkness.  We all have fear.  We all have parts of ourselves that we try to hide from the world.  We think that being spiritual means being “up” all the time.

After doing my shamanic journey’s, I have found, that sometimes, the answers are in the darkness.   We try to run from it, choosing not to face what is there, rather than looking at it as a gift.

It’s scary as hell to face one’s crap…..however, the most beautiful lotus flower grows in the muck.

This painting represents what I felt last night, as I choose to BE in the darkness, relax, and allow.  It may disturb some, and it may make others feel as though they are not alone.

Whatever it makes you feel…..I’m glad, I can make you feel.



There is beauty in the darkness, when there is no fear.

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