Tag Archives: shaman

How do you know if they are “real”?

I Give Them Voices (24 x 24)
                   I Give Them Voices

The messages?  How do you know if they are indeed “real”?  That they are from God, Spirit, your guides or whatever you believe in?  And, when it is coming from your head?

Sundays seem to be my days to ponder those sort of questions….It’s something I have been mulling around in my head and heart the past few days.

This is MY answer.  The way that I know that the messages I receive are authentic.

I dated a shaman for three years.  I accompanied him a lot on his healing journeys.  There was a man that was in the process of “crossing over” (Or however you want to say it), and he (the shaman) asked me to participate in helping the man make his journey in a good, and peaceful way.  “Larry” was breathing in a way, that let us all know that he was close.  When he would stop taking breaths, everyone would say – be at peace, etc etc.   I was an observer.  I knew no one present, except for the shaman.

Before I knew it, I felt a presence next to me.


omg – wtf?????


lord god – seriously???

“Will you tell them that I want to do this in my own way, my own time, without anyone present?”

what does one say to that sort of request?



I promise.

I waited.

Because, well, I wasn’t sure.  Did he really ask me to communicate with his family?  And, I was afraid to make a fool of myself.


lord god, he was back.

“You promised.”

He showed me a crane, with an old antique green truck hanging from the crane with an American Flag below it.

And then, he was gone.

Deep breath.

“Was ‘Larry’ the sort of guy that did things on his own time?”


I gave them the message.

Everyone left.

I told my friend what he showed me.

He died that night…all alone….just like he wanted it.

We went to the funeral….on a huge estate in Taos.

After finding a parking place, we walked to the well manicured very expansive lawn where the service was being held.

I stopped dead in my tracks.

I couldn’t breathe.

I looked at my friend – and he said – very quietly – “I was wondering when you would see it.”

On the lawn was a firetruck.

With the ladder extended.

With a flag hanging from the top.

And down below – the pickup.  Same color, same make and model that “Larry” had showed me.

Any time, I receive the messages, they come in the same way.  Not really in my mind, although, of course, it has to be used to process it into words.  It’s a feeling – a knowing – intuition.

It’s deeper and higher, everything and nothing.   It’s the space between the seconds.  When I doubt – they give me confirmation – a phone call from a friend – talking about parts of my message.  A meme posted on social media. A critter who’s totem message is similar to the one I received.

Oh sure, I go back into my head  – I’m human, after all…But, for the most part, I have faith.

You see, I’m not so different from those who are religious – they have faith – faith in something bigger than themselves.

May we walk together as one.





I chose consciousness…

Earth Healer (10 x 10)
Earth Healer

….before I even knew the meaning of the word.  Before I knew what it entailed…   I didn’t just CHOOSE it, I said, “Bring it on!”.  Lord god….

I was so unhappy.  Like, always sick, unhappy.  Like, knowing that there was more to life than what I was experiencing.  Like there was something else out there.

I had no idea that my life would crumble.  That I would die a thousand deaths, only to be reborn.  That I would have to face dragons, and demons that I had no idea existed.  That I would have to look at old outdated patterns and beliefs that I had.

I went from being a dentist’s wife in a small town in Western Kansas….a simple comfortable life, that many would be very content living, to dating a shaman in Taos, New Mexico.

I was an artist.  How in the hell was I going to “make” it?  I received very little support from my family. (With the exception of my sister – although – I do believe she wondered about my sanity – but, I never doubted her love for me.) One comment that still sticks in my mind was “They call them starving artists for a reason!”.  Gee, thanks….that’s the kind of help that I didn’t need.

I became a seeker.  I tried, and studied everything “woo-woo”.

I thought I was crazy.

To want something different.

To paint something different.

To BE different.



I’m not meant to fit into that round hole.  I’m not meant to follow the masses.  I’m not a follower.

When people tell me “That’s not the way it is done.”, I say, “Watch me.”

When people tell me that I “should” paint traditionally, I say, “But, it’s not what my soul is telling me to paint.”

When people say “You’ll never make it”, I say, “Hold my beer.” (Or scotch!)

Listening to the artists out there that teach “How to be a successful artist”….I say, good for them, but one person’s way may not work for another.

The reason why I am sharing all of this, is because I know there are so many others out there that feel the way I do.  I know how people look at those of us who are becoming enlightened.  One of my “jobs” is to let others know that others know that they are not crazy.

This journey that we have chosen can be tough.  We can feel alone, but I assure you – YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!  There are thousands waking up – facing their own dragons – right now.

It’s time.

Mother Gaia needs us.


If, knowing then what I know now, would I do it all over again – the answer would be HELL YES!!!   Would I do it the same way – probably. But, everyone’s way is different.

You can’t unknow what you know.

The fear appears real – but, your courage is much much greater, I assure you.

For those of us facing our dragons, there are millions of us standing behind you saying, “You have this, we honor you, stand behind you for choosing this journey, and thank you for your courage!”

My life has become magical – as will yours.

Soon, we will not be the exception to the rule, but, we will become the rule.

May we walk together as one.



The Face of Fear

I had a bad day yesterday. It happens. This one, however, was particularly life changing. It was one of those “I know why he cut off his ear”, and “I’ll never be an artist” days.  No ideas floating in my head.  No niggling messages to paint.  No desire to paint anything.  Music didn’t help.  Walking… Continue Reading


There are times in everyone’s life when they question.  Everything.  There are times of fear and despair.  There are just times when you question. For me, I know (now) that these are times to go within and be introspective.  Time to paint.  Time to be good to myself.   Time to work things out in my… Continue Reading

Rising from the Ashes

Eight years ago, I made a very difficult decision to leave a wonderful man and a predictable life. Not knowing HOW I was going to make it, just knowing that I WAS going to make it…. I moved to Taos, NM, barely knowing a soul, but knowing that I needed to be there. And, my… Continue Reading

You are NOT alone….trust me.

So the other day I was discussing exactly what it means to me to “come out spiritually”…..and all of the emotion around it. Should I, shouldn’t I…and why the hell do I feel that it is so dang important…especially right now?     The only easy and quick answer I could come up with is that …..simply… Continue Reading

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Raven Shaman
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