Every year, I try to pick a word that I choose to focus to work on for the year. This year, was no exception. TRUST! Trust my intuition, trust my knowing, just trust.
The last blog I wrote about was VERY raw and vulnerable. (Hope Rising) I put myself out there like I had never done before. My insecurities, my fears…all of it. I was authentic. Because I knew/know that it is time for me. Everyone has different paths and journey’s to take, and mine is to splay myself for anyone and everyone to see. To let others know that they aren’t alone.
Changing what one paints as an artist, creates fear and vulnerability. Much as putting oneself out on display and sharing what one’s fear is about certain situations.
I had a very wise, seasoned painter that I respect tell me one day – “Paula, I’m going to give you advice from an old painter that has been pigeon-holed by galleries, for sales. Never, let someone tell you what to paint if you want to keep your soul, your creative spark alive. Yes, I am ‘successful’. But, am I really? I paint for sales….but my soul longs to paint what it wants to paint. This is a decision I regret. And so, dear one, you are going to have to make a decision – paint for sales? Or paint from your soul – and allow the abundance that you know is yours to flow in? I chose the easy route. I chose the fear route. Your choice.”
Whoa….big advice to a new and budding painter. And, YES, a big decision. One, even 7 years later, I still go back and forth on….
I have come to a conclusion. One, that may or may not be right for some…..but it is right for me.
I have to paint what I am being asked to paint. There is no other way around it. I paint for the sheer joy of painting. I paint messages. I paint cows. I paint figures. I paint because I love to create. I almost hate finishing a painting sometimes, because I get sooooo lost in the actual process. Those are the paintings that I sleep with. Because I remember the feeling of getting lost in another world that painting that creation evokes. That emotion of being so connected that I am unaware of time or space. I am frequently amazed at what comes through me, and asks to be put on my canvas. I just do it.
I have no choice…..it’s why I am here.
As far as putting myself out there and being raw, vulnerable, and uncut….I was rewarded that day. I was rewarded with messages from three people I admire greatly…All with the same message….. TRUST….JUST TRUST!!! These words written from someone who “knows”. “There is an effortlessness to your figures. That sort of sincerity and honesty is palpable in art, and in your work.”
I am so grateful to those that bring in the messages…and to the messages that come through me.
much love always,