It’s Been a Rough FREAKIN’ Year…(part deux)

(If you haven’t read “It’s Been a Rough FREAKIN’ Year” part one , and you want to – click here)….

BUT, first, my Guides have been adamant about having me share something about using the phrase “cream of the crop”.

EVERYONE here plays a role.  Not one of us can make a move without affecting another.  It’s all a part of the brilliant tapestry that we are weaving.  We are connected in so many ways this lifetime – There are the soul contracts, karma from past lifetimes, karma from THIS lifetime, physical connection, etc etc etc.  You never know when, where, why or how (in some cases) your actions or words will transform someone’s life.

So, BE mindful.  BE compassionate.  BE joy.  BE forgiving.  BE love.  Just BE!!!!

Onto more vulnerable stuff….I found out that I have Lyme Disease, which is kind of a relief for me, because I have been exhausted, stressed, moody, arthritic, and having heart issues…which I was blaming on my age, and some what of a non-healthy lifestyle (I really am not much of a green leafy person – preferring bread – etc etc).  I am choosing (consciously) to work with an alternative health care professional, and, I discovered The Medical Medium, who has really changed the way I look at, well, everything that has to do with my lifestyle.

I’ve started juicing and eating healthier.

But, I have to admit, I’ve been beating myself up….a LOT!!!   What did I do to cause this?  And, why me?  So, before you think I am in victim mode, which I will admit, I started going down that old familiar rabbit hole pattern….I’m not.  I’m using this as a way to take control of my life…to change my lifestyle.  Although, I have to confess that there are days lately, that I see myself as a failure…like I did something wrong, and am being punished for it.

I don’t want to be a crotchity, unhealthy Mimi to my Littles – I want to be that grandparent that can keep up with them…that is fun…that is happy AND healthy.  I want to set an example for both my children and my grands…I guess I really never thought about it much before, I kinda thought that my way of living was good….until I started juicing, cutting out gluten, and being more mindful.  (I can definitely tell when I eat something “bad”!)

I’ve always been a “doer”.  I’m a crappy “be-er”.  This has made me aware that the “doing” has to stop.  That part of the resetting of my body, also includes my mind, AND my spirit.   I know that I preach mind, body, spirit….But, I’m truly understanding the importance now.

The brain fog is real.  The exhaustion is real.  The depression is real.  The cause of the actual dis-ease is not truly known, but, I do know that something needs to change.

Sorry about the down and dirty blog, but, not all days are good…  I think that one of the things when choosing a spiritual path that gets beaten into our heads is that we create our own reality…and when things are less than perfect…we get down on ourselves and see ourselves as failures…BUT WE ARE FREAKIN HUMAN PEOPLE…and along with choosing to be human comes emotions…

I’m not wallering…I’m just having a less than perfect day.

Much love,

Paula

It’s been a rough FREAKIN’ year!!!

For most of us.

It’s been a year of ups and downs.  Ins and outs.  Very high high’s and very low lows.

But, it’s been good, and I am grateful.

For every very tough day, it seems I have a huge breakthrough.

Tell me, you too???

Let me tell you the messages I keep getting from GUS….We chose this.  We chose to live this amazing human life.  We are the cream of the crop peeps.  Not only did we choose to play this incredible end game called Earth, but we chose to BE CONSCIOUS.  We chose to light the world up.

However, this end game (for the cream of the crop….kinda like that they keep calling us that), has a BIG FRICKIN boss to fight at the end.  And truthfully, the big boss is us.  It’s ourselves.  It’s those inner demons that keep rearing their ugly, but needed heads that continually ask us if we are ready.  The tests come at a rapidity that we are not used to.

But, it’s end game time.  GUS wants to know that we are really and truly ready.  So the lessons keep coming, because we said we were ready, willing and able to change consciousness on Earth.  Some of us said, “Bring it on!”, and our lessons tend to be a bit more challenging, because, well, when we say bring it on, GUS delivers.

Right now, for every hard challenge, the signs keep showing up to let us know that we are supposed to be doing what we are doing.  And, when they don’t, all you have to do is ask…they are there, just waiting to help.  Sometimes, in the most peculiar ways.

For example, yesterday, I found out I had “lyme disease”, and decided to post it on Facebook….the very first comment was a powerful message for me.  A friend recommended that I check out the Medical Medium’s podcast on Lyme disease….  And Holy shit batman, there it was.  A message I had been intuiting would come sooner or later.  It’s time to start taking care of me.  My whole being.  Mind Body Spirit.

This year, my soul has not been into creating as much as it has in the past.  And still, I pushed through, because, that is what I am “supposed” to do?  Right???

WRONG.

I started sculpting my angels, and I absolutely love creating them, but, sometime between going to Dallas Market, and Vegas Market, something shifted.  I stopped creating, and started “producing”.  That’s when all hell broke loose.  I got sick, really sick, and continued to push through it….I was exhausted, moody, and crying a lot.  I wasn’t having fun.

There is such a difference between creating for the sheer joy of the creative process, and producing because you need/want to make money.  Feel into it.  Totally different intention.

So, the aha came.  The reason why I’m feeling so crappy…it’s so multi-layered, that I can’t explain it all, but, one of the biggest reasons was to clear out more of the blockages and old patterning.  To get me more ready…more committed…more sure about my path….the path I chose.

As well as so many of us….

And, that is why I share some of my vulnerabilities, so that you don’t feel alone.

It’s the end game, and we are fighting the BIG BOSS….but, we are doing it together.

May We Walk Together As One.

Paula

 

How many of you (like me) run?

….from facing your fears….and from facing yourself?  I know I do.  What is it that you do?? This is one of the things I do…I buy houses.  About every two years, I get the itch to change residences.  But, this home here in Bella Vista, Arkansas…is different.  I’m putting down roots. Literally and figuratively.  I’m… Continue Reading

Trust YOUR intuition (and while you’re at it stop listening to your DAMN ego!)

I have two very vulnerable stories about not trusting MY intuition, (instead accepting someone else’s!), and listening to my ego… A very large portion of artists’ DREAM of being in galleries. I’ve been no exception. Which has led me to lesson learning. LESSON ONE Three years ago I was contacted by a gallery in England. … Continue Reading

Why do we do it to ourselves??

Artists…actually, most creatives that I know do it.  (Of course, there are ALWAYS exceptions to the rule, but, for the most part as a collective…we DO IT!) WE DON’T VALUE OUR GIFT THAT HAS CHOSEN US!!!!!!  (And so…how is any one else going to see our value, if WE don’t…#justsayin ) I just had a… Continue Reading

Today, I turn 60

Today, I turn 60 The BIG 6-0. Wow…..Hard to say….let alone contemplate what it means. Some say that it is the last third of your life…..AND, I plan to make it the BEST third. All day long I have vacillated between being teary, and being ecstatic. Ten years ago, it was 50….(DUH!!) I was a… Continue Reading

About Paula