Finding Herself…

FInding Herself
FInding Herself

….And all because she chose to take the path less traveled….

As many of you know, (and you may get tired of hearing about it), going to Standing Rock to help protect the water and the earth, changed and affected me in a profound manner.   I knew something was there for me, and I knew it would alter and challenge my existence, I just didn’t know how.

I DO KNOW, however, that committing to a spiritual path will make you, at times, feel as though you are being broken into a million pieces, to let the light in…

I can feel that the world is getting ready to make a conscious shift.  There will definitely be some darkness that will come out (and is already), and those of us that have chosen to be the light bearers are being tested and asked to grow in ways we never thought possible.   At times, it feels like we are being ripped apart.  To get rid of the gunk, the stuff we have buried so deep, the stuff that wakes us up at night in total fear.

My deepest knowing is that this is an essential part of the changes that are coming.

I have two big fears – one is having enough money to live on as an artist, and the other is being alone. (Well, actually three – I always worry about what others think about me!)

I have had a dream for many, many years…  I want badly to be able to follow the whale migration down the Western Coast of the United States, and paint my way down the coast.  In a camper….but, in a bigger one than Candy Scamper Camper.

After the election, (and because of all of the uncertainty) I made a conscious decision – to take some of my savings and buy a rig to go on the road.  I’m not getting any younger – and – I’m tired of waiting for someone to do it with!!!!   TWO OF MY BIGGEST FEARS out in the open.

First order of business to find a big enough truck to tow what I want to tow – (and, Spirit, could she please have a fifth wheel hitch, extending mirrors, extra towing package AND low miles???)  White Pony (and/or Blanca Badass – Thank you Brooke Tatum), showed up.  The rapidity at how fast everything was happening was almost mind blowing.


Enter in Chloe – a 32 foot Montana Mountaineer – complete with a winter package – a washer/dryer combo – a cheesy electric fireplace (not on my list – but – OH SO WELCOME!), a great area to use as a studio (complete with TONS OF STORAGE) – AND a bathtub!!!!  Not a big one, but, I can lie down in (although I still haven’t quite figured out what to do with my legs when I do that!), and soak when I need to.

I decided to camp at a campground VERY close to my home in Bella Vista, AR….The space they gave me was #53 – a sign from my Mom who died on May 3rd – the year I turned 53.  She always has a way of letting me know when she supports my decisions!!!

And, if that wasn’t enough, a friend (Thank you Sheri Esarte for listening to YOUR intuition) painted a painting of a Red Horse (my given Navajo name), on the day of the full moon that I received my name.  She also gifted me with an arrowhead.  I was also gifted that day with a key chain that had an Indian face, arrowhead, and an eagle (my totem animal) on it, along with a piece of turquoise.

I’m on my virgin journey with her right now –  I followed my intuition (and the signs) and headed to Gallup, NM to paint, write and visit parts of the Navajo (Diné) reservation that have been calling to me since I first visited Shiprock many years ago to participate in Sundance Ceremony.  I don’t know why yet, I just know I am supposed to be here.  (And they TRIED to give me space #53 – except it didn’t have 50 AMP service!  THANKS MOM, for letting me know that this is the right decision!!!).

I’ve been painting.  And writing.  Amazed at what is coming through me.  I start a painting, and just let the messages flow through me.   I disappear.  The signs keep coming.  I know I am where I am supposed to be, and I’m good with that.  I don’t know WHY I’m here, yet, but, I’m sure that will be revealed IF I can be patient enough!!!

Finding Herself is the second painting I have done since arriving in Gallup.  I planned on painting something else, but THEY (the muses and guides) would have nothing to do with what “I” wanted.

Her message was channeled in by my friend Sara Burch – “Be as you are….marvel in your uniqueness, and transcend to your greatness!”

A clear message for all of us.  ALL OF US!!!   We are all here to be uniquely us.  Who we chose to be this lifetime.

Yup, life is good.  If I can just stop fighting myself.

Blessings to all,

Red Horse (aka Lii Łichíí)




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