And, it wasn’t easy.
This past week was a lesson learning/tweaking week – which translates to….OMG, SERIOUSLY???? WTF!!!
Initially, with each lesson I went to my pity party/woe is me/blah, blah, blah, and yada space.
But, with all of the energies that are here to support us through this time…each time, but one, I was able to see the gift of the lesson rather rapidly.
The one that I needed help for, was to ask for love.
seriously, Paula? You can’t ask for love?
shit – this is a big one.
My son had to go to the Emergency Room on Friday morning. He was in horrible pain, and suspected kidney stones…
I texted a dear friend…The first thing he asked was: “How is he?” The second thing he asked was: “And how are you?” I wasn’t sure how to respond. I don’t remember, with a few exceptions, anyone ever asking me that. It took me a while. “I could use a hug.” His answer: “I wish I could be there to hug you.”
lots and lots of tears.
I wrote an extremely vulnerable post on Facebook, because, once I felt that sort of compassion, and love…I found I needed more.
Here it is:
Most of the time, I don’t mind being alone, I’m actually happy….most the time. Today however is one of those days that I wish I had support… I received tons of virtual hugs… But a real hug, and being able to cry in somebody’s arms… Would have been most welcome.
Dropped my son off at the emergency room and couldn’t go in…
And, because I was able to be vulnerable and raw, I received more love than I’ve ever dreamed possible….and the floodgates opened.
You may tell me that I need to reach down deep inside of me and find the love that I craved inside of me….
But, I needed connection.
I NEEDED connection.
I NEEDED CONNECTION!!!
Me, the one who is an introvert and loves spending time alone.
I think, right now, more than ever we all do.
And, I asked for help. In spite of my fear of doing so.
Where does that fear of asking for help come from?
I think mine comes from my mother who did not approving of my divorce. She made it quite clear that she thought I was making the biggest mistake of my life. And so, I vowed to be strong….to show her that I was ok. Now I know that her thoughts were actually fueled by love but I didn’t know it then.
Something shifted for me on Friday. Something huge. As I said earlier we are so supported throughout this time of massive change. And for all of us that are able to learn our lessons with grace – believe it or not – we help others do the same.
We came here for these times. We agreed that we wanted to be on Earth to help with the biggest shift (to 5D and beyond) that we have ever experienced. We are all warrior Gods and Goddesses that begged to be here – now! We knew what the difficulties were going to be. And we said “Hell yeah!! I wanna be in on this!!!”
I believe in all of your abilities to navigate these changes with grace – and please, don’t forget to reach out for help when you need it. That’s why we chose to be here!!
May We Walk Together As One.