It’s Been a Rough FREAKIN’ Year…(part deux)

(If you haven’t read “It’s Been a Rough FREAKIN’ Year” part one , and you want to – click here)….

BUT, first, my Guides have been adamant about having me share something about using the phrase “cream of the crop”.

EVERYONE here plays a role.  Not one of us can make a move without affecting another.  It’s all a part of the brilliant tapestry that we are weaving.  We are connected in so many ways this lifetime – There are the soul contracts, karma from past lifetimes, karma from THIS lifetime, physical connection, etc etc etc.  You never know when, where, why or how (in some cases) your actions or words will transform someone’s life.

So, BE mindful.  BE compassionate.  BE joy.  BE forgiving.  BE love.  Just BE!!!!

Onto more vulnerable stuff….I found out that I have Lyme Disease, which is kind of a relief for me, because I have been exhausted, stressed, moody, arthritic, and having heart issues…which I was blaming on my age, and some what of a non-healthy lifestyle (I really am not much of a green leafy person – preferring bread – etc etc).  I am choosing (consciously) to work with an alternative health care professional, and, I discovered The Medical Medium, who has really changed the way I look at, well, everything that has to do with my lifestyle.

I’ve started juicing and eating healthier.

But, I have to admit, I’ve been beating myself up….a LOT!!!   What did I do to cause this?  And, why me?  So, before you think I am in victim mode, which I will admit, I started going down that old familiar rabbit hole pattern….I’m not.  I’m using this as a way to take control of my life…to change my lifestyle.  Although, I have to confess that there are days lately, that I see myself as a failure…like I did something wrong, and am being punished for it.

I don’t want to be a crotchity, unhealthy Mimi to my Littles – I want to be that grandparent that can keep up with them…that is fun…that is happy AND healthy.  I want to set an example for both my children and my grands…I guess I really never thought about it much before, I kinda thought that my way of living was good….until I started juicing, cutting out gluten, and being more mindful.  (I can definitely tell when I eat something “bad”!)

I’ve always been a “doer”.  I’m a crappy “be-er”.  This has made me aware that the “doing” has to stop.  That part of the resetting of my body, also includes my mind, AND my spirit.   I know that I preach mind, body, spirit….But, I’m truly understanding the importance now.

The brain fog is real.  The exhaustion is real.  The depression is real.  The cause of the actual dis-ease is not truly known, but, I do know that something needs to change.

Sorry about the down and dirty blog, but, not all days are good…  I think that one of the things when choosing a spiritual path that gets beaten into our heads is that we create our own reality…and when things are less than perfect…we get down on ourselves and see ourselves as failures…BUT WE ARE FREAKIN HUMAN PEOPLE…and along with choosing to be human comes emotions…

I’m not wallering…I’m just having a less than perfect day.

Much love,


3 Responses to It’s Been a Rough FREAKIN’ Year…(part deux)

  1. I understand completely Paula, sending you hugs from the UK
    I Ha e Lichen Sclerosis and because I look ok on the outside people think
    I’m makin git up. They don’t understand what they can’t see.
    I know my condition is different to limes but I get affected in similar way to you.
    I too have had to cut out the gluten I realised it was making me ill and again people said I was imagining it, but since cutting it out I have been better.
    Yes depression and brain fog is very real and again people don’t u derstand what they can’t see.
    Hope you have a better day tomorrow.

  2. Much love girl. And, this too shall pass. I’m impressed with all that you’ve decided to take on, and I wish you a good journey. You sound much like me in your self-talk…and I learned something very useful: that sometimes “shit happens!”

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