Man, did I get triggered

But, this time, I handled it differently. I knew it was coming. However, it came from someone I did not expect it to come from.

Any time someone tries going outside of the box, it’s scary. You never know what the reactions might be. This time, was so different for me. I’ve tried so many different avenues for selling my art, and all of the doors have pretty much closed, or not been productive. I’ve tried the traditional method of gallery representation, going to market, selling my art directly to collectors at my gallery prices, etc etc, but none of these seemed to fit me, and who I am.

Earlier this year I started getting messages from GUS to try a totally unconventional mean of connecting to my patrons. I knew that, for the most part, it fit me, AND, I also knew that there would be a couple of hiccups.

When I put it out there that I was taking REASONABLE offers on my art, I knew I would be walking a fine line. Writing about it flowed off of my fingers, as if it came from another place. When I read and re-read it before I posted it, I wanted to make sure that it was clear. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was offend anyone….(Just in case you don’t know what I am talking about….click here)

The other day….it came….from someone I least expected it to come from. Ninety nine percent of my collectors, when making a very low offer, either upped their offer, or thanked me profusely for giving them the possibility of owning a piece of art they may not have been able to afford. They understood why I could not sell a piece of art for as little as they offered. Ninety nine percent were not offended, and the exchanges were over the top pleasant. I was, and still am, forever grateful to those beautiful souls.

But, I knew it was coming.

“I want to offer X.” Here it came. I handled it no differently than I had handled the rest of the offers that were lower. I thanked her and told them that for X the painting was hers.

Oh man.

My integrity was questioned. I was told that my method of “determining your price” was something that I had put into place to make idiots of people. She got super manipulative and passive/aggressive.

My initial reaction was the typical gut clenching reaction that always happens when I am triggered.

I took a breath.

Then two.

Then three.

And reached into my tool box. (Oh man, Paula Jean, that’s something that you have never done before!) (At least not THIS fast!!!!!)

I explained that what she had offered barely covers my expenses. That I did not say “determine your price”, but, I felt that saying “make a REASONABLE offer” was clear.

She had other words to say.

All of a sudden, I could see that this was about her, and not me. I didn’t take it personally. I thanked her for fulfilling our soul contract.

You see, in the past, when I tried something new and someone would challenge me, I would shut down. I would remove any trace of what I had tried from absolutely everywhere that I had put it. AND, I would have gotten super passive/aggressive as well as falling all over myself explaining why I did it the way that I did.

This was a big win for me. The majority of my life I have sacrificed who I am, and what I desire to put others first. To be liked. Even though my personality is bigger than life, when challenged, I have found myself apologizing all over myself, to make the other person comfortable. I made myself smaller.

This was also a big win for the collective. Because when one of us grows and is authentic to who we are, we give others permission. I am grateful for those who came before me to pave that path.

One of my really BIG jobs is to be super transparent. To write about my wins, AND my losses. GUS has been super-duper- pooper-scooper clear that the reason I am to be transparent is to let others know that they are not alone.

So….even though I was triggered….I was hyper aware of it….why it happened….and how to respond. I’m not going to say I didn’t feel myself go to the “no body likes me everybody hates me” place. Because I did, but, the whole time I was aware that this was going to be a huge turning point for me.

If “Super people pleasing” me, can start working through this…you can too. I know it. I believe it.

Things are shifting at such a rapid rate now….that the more we can hold space, without judgement…the more rapidly we grow….

Much love to all


6 Responses to Man, did I get triggered

  1. great job… noticing and catching yourself then stepping up to the challenge.
    Can you share how the conversation ended because it might give us a little confidence to step out of out own kitty litter box..
    Phownix risibg!

  2. Wow. I’m SO happy for you! …and for me because now it’ll be easier next time I have to stand my ground. Also, do you think maybe this was a test you passed with flying colors? The cosmos giving you a chance to win and show yourself your growth?

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