Tag Archives: authentic

Lightworker – How do you know if you ARE one?

Lightworkers

I’ve opened up a whole can of worms with this move.  One of the things that I am doing is reading old journals.  Ten-ish years ago, I consciously said “Bring it on!” to GUS – not having a CLUE what I was about to get myself into….(I highly recommend that if you have any of the following “symptoms” to NOT say bring it on like you know WTF is going to happen – because I assure you – you don’t!! – instead, you might rephrase it as – “I’m willing to do what it is you ask of me, but, with ease and grace!”)

One of my writings that I came across was written very early on on my spiritual journey…I was actually quite surprised that many of them are still pertinent on my path now….they are just deeper.

So….Here it is!!!

 

 

 

How do you know when you have “chosen” to become a Lightworker?

 

  1. You do things that “muggles” see as crazy or you do things you “shouldn’t” do.
  2. You leave relationships because even though they are “easy”, you don’t feel right about not being authentic to your true self.
  3. You start talking to trees, rocks, fairies, angels, etc. AND they “talk” back!
  4. There is a gut reaction to lies – Even if someone says one thing – your “gut” or intuition tells you another. TRUST YOUR INTUITION!
  5. You believe in the goodness of all, even thought you see their dark side.
  6. You are able to forgive (yourself and others) and are able to move on without staying in the past knowing that the other person also has their journey and you don’t feel a need to fix anymore….i.e. – if he/she would just change.  (Ongoing process for me!!!)
  7. You feel a need to simplify your life – spending more time in joy and peace rather than drama and depression. (Also, ongoing!)
  8. You feel a little crazy and yet you know you’ve never been more sane in your life and finally all of the puzzle pieces “fit”, even though you know the puzzle may take years to complete – and every time you find a piece  – you squeal with delight!!!
  9. You finally feel like you are BEing who you came here to BE and stop trying to “make” it happen – trusting that when you are authentic and from integrity in your work, GUS conspires to make it happen.
  10. FINALLY, you see our world as one of tolerance, peace, harmony, love and compassion.

Imagine it – and it is so.

I had no idea when I was writing this, that even today, it would be something that I needed to read.

If you are feeling ANY of these “symptoms” – I want you to know – YOU ARE NOT ALONE – Now, more than ever before, because of the state of the world – there are thousands “waking” up every day.   One of my “jobs” that my guides and angels have made more than abundantly clear – is to share very large parts of my journey.   I came from such a traditional background – married a dentist, raised 2.54 children, had the picket fence, conservative etc etc etc….until I couldn’t do it any more.   I KNEW there was something else out there.   My life fell apart – and I’m slowly putting the puzzle pieces together.  Not trying to “make” them fit, but instead, allowing them to fall into place.  Sometimes it is very slow going, but, sometimes I have those days where I find 20 pieces…

SO WORTH IT!!!!!

Every day is a new beginning.  A chance to follow your path.  I believe, now more than ever, we are here to change the world….hold sacred space…just by following our path.  Not one of us can exist without the other…

May We Walk Together As One

Paula

The #toomuchwoman

The #toomuchwoman Angel
The #toomuchwoman Angel

I think that many of us can agree….it’s been a year….a year of ups and downs…a year of change…a year of rebirth….especially for those of us that have chosen a spiritual path.  I think to say that it has been a year filled with lessons, aha’s, and growth would probably minimize what most of us have felt.

One of the things I have had to learn how to do is to be quiet.  Hard for this grand fire trine woman, but, one of the things that I have figured out is that the answers lie in the quiet.  I’ve been such a “doer” all my life, that being forced to be quiet (if you don’t do what GUS – God, Universe, Spirit – is asking – “he” will find a way to MAKE you do it!), has been one of the most challenging lessons of all for me.

I’ve been forced to take a lot of “down” time, but, it hasn’t been unproductive at all.  Even with the move, I’ve chosen to “do” things I wouldn’t normally do.  One of the most rewarding experiences for me has been taking time to read a plethora of journals and sketch books that I have kept since consciously committing to the life of a lightworker.

It’s been a year of muddling through the muck….feeling like a failure….and wondering why.

But, so many things came together for me while reading my Pollyanna musings the past few days.

Depression, apathy, and everything that goes with it, have been my closest friends the past 6 (or more) months.

Pollyanna had gone missing.

Reading my journals brought me right back to square one.  The reason why I am here.

Frequently in my writings, I stated that I am not everyone’s cup of tea…that I am different…sometimes feeling alone….sometimes lonely….but, I wouldn’t trade this path for anything.

I’ve always been a #toomuchwoman for most people.

A catalyst.

One that makes statements that people frequently look at me with the WTF stare!

I lost that this year.  I shrank.  I became less than.  I thought I needed to be the person that others expected me to be.

AND, I got sick because my mind, body and spirit were not in alignment.

However, in the spirit of total transparency, (which is one of the reasons I am here), it’s been a good thing for me to be aware of.

One of my HUGE issues is people pleasing.  Worrying about what they think of me.  Wondering if they think I’m crazy.

This is the year I am giving that up.

I’ve realized that who I am, is one who helps others not feel alone by writing my stories. Sharing my lessons.  My aha’s.  My growth, and my setbacks.  The number of people that write me and tell me their stories is mind-blowing sometimes, and I would not have it any other way.  I always try to hold sacred space for those who are hurting, and willing to move forward, but, I don’t hold space for those who insist on staying in their victim mentality.

My circle of friends is much smaller.  Quality over quantity.

I’ve had many mentors over the years and the ones I respect and honor the most, are the ones who aren’t afraid to also share their process.  The ones who will say, “Yeah, life sucks sometimes…..but that is where the growth occurs….”.  I know when someone is honest, and when someone is blowing smoke up my ass.  Most of the time, I honor my intuition, and when I don’t, I’m grateful for the lesson. (Most of the time!!!)

One of the biggest things I’ve become acutely aware of is how tightly we are interwoven.  Personally, I gain strength from those who have had their feet held to the fire, and walk through it.  For those of you, I am grateful.  And, conversely, I am also grateful to those who choose not to also, because, I know that there is no shame in playing it safe – it’s just not for me.

This post is to say THANK YOU for each and every one of you who have impacted my life in one way or another.  I would not be the person I am today, had it not been for you.

May We Walk Together As One.

Much Love,

Paula

 

 

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