Tag Archives: fear

What happens when you state what you want to GUS…

…..Or, be careful what you ask for!!!!!

I’m a manifestor.  Actually, quite good at it.  Sometimes, too good.

I spent many years in “victim mode” and received a lot of “victim” situations.  I was all about “nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I’m gonna go eat worms!”  And, I received a lot of worms.

Once I realized that thoughts create things and/or situations, I got better….not great…but, better, at being aware of my thoughts and statements I made.  (I think I will ALWAYS be on a journey around this!)

Here is a HUGE example of what I am talking about.

This past year has been about finding my authentic voice.  Figuring out who I really am.  One of the things I stated to GUS (and to friends), was that it was time to leave a couple of galleries that did not “fit” any longer.  And, only be in galleries that truly loved my work, and believed in my story.

I waited a BIT too long for GUS….and he decided to give me what I asked for.

The phone call came from one of my galleries that was the most inauthentic to me.

“Do you think it is time that we part ways?”


Yes, of course, but I wasn’t quite ready.

Hells Bells.

Another one closed and didn’t tell any of their artists – we had to find out through social media – obviously this space was not authentic to who I am.

I went from 6 galleries to 1 in a year.

Then I went into panic mode.

What the hell was I going to do???

I was reminded by a dear friend that I had asked for this, and if I could just be patient, (yeah RIGHT!!!!) it would all fall into place.

I went into gratitude mode for the one gallery that believed in me – Artemisia – in Geneva, Il – owned by a very spiritual woman that I adore.  One who understood my path and my vision.



it came.

An email from a man who owned a gallery in Birmingham, AL.  Asking me to be in his gallery.  Art Alley...phenomenal space!!!

We talked.

One of the things that I don’t like about being in galleries in other cities are shipping costs there.  It is a HUGE expense.  He offered to pay for shipping.


He picked out paintings that I had hanging in my house, rather than the ones I had in my studio, which told me that he “got” me.

GUS is always listening.

I truly believe that it is okay to “feel” all of our “feels”.  Our fears, our worries, our anger, and our despair.  If we stuff them down, they fester. Talk about it with your very trusted inner circle – the ones that truly get you and who will tell you like it is (VERY grateful for my TIGHT inner circle!)



State your intention clearly.

GUS is always listening.

And, then be patient and wait for the magic to happen.



Blessings to you all

And, of course….

May We Walk Together As One.





I’ve been AWOL

And here is why….Occasionally life throws us curve balls.  Last week I got the flu.  Full blown, even to the point that I went to the clinic to get checked…Such a rare thing for me.

Then, my son’s lung collapsed and he had to be hospitalized.  He had been trying to get health insurance since May of 2017, and despite numerous phone calls, and following the Health care.gov rules…nada, zippo, zilch!

We finally made it home last week Sunday and I woke up Sunday night having a FULL BLOWN PANIC ATTACK!!!  I couldn’t breathe, listen, speak, or eat.  As a matter of a fact – I honestly thought I was dying!!!   I painted From the Ashes, because I thought it would help….and it did….temporarily.  From the Ashes (24 x 24)

Monday night – rinse and repeat.  Same thing – not as severe – but same symptoms.

I became hyper aware that I couldn’t discuss the specifics of the attack – and set some boundaries that are always difficult for me to set.  And, compassion kicked in.  For those who suffer with these on a regular basis, AND, for myself.

When I could finally see what happened, and could process a bit – The Sassy Pants series was born.

I needed the reminder that “I” had the power!  No one else.  Just me.

I think that artists are unique in that we are able to paint our way through our emotions, and lessons…..not that we are always able to…..but, we can, if we just release and allow.

Getting Her S#!T Together came first – VERY LARGE – and hung in a place in my home that I look at it daily. 









Then came On Her Soapbox to remind me to be grateful. 








After that was Fake it till you Make it – I had never really considered being sassy enough to pretend. And yet, for some reason, I felt the need to paint this colorful being. (She is available for $575 with free shipping in the US – 24 x 36 x .5 – regular price $1300)








I’m not sure why this happened, totally, but, I have my thoughts.  I think one of the main reasons is to learn how to be less judgy and more compassionate.  Another reason is to remind me that there is a power greater than me at work here (Thank you GUS!), and that I really do need to learn how to release and allow.  Still a third reason that I have yet to look at is deeply personal – and something I have been avoiding like the plague, and so GUS (thank you AGAIN!), threw it in my face, so that I have no other option BUT to look at it!!!

This being AWOL has allowed me to see clearer (now that I am on the other side), and has really upped my compassion game.

I’m very fortunate to have had some incredible friends share their experiences, and the breathing techniques that help them when they feel a panic attack coming on.  It doesn’t completely eliminate them, but, it makes them easier to navigate.

May We Walk Together As One.






……Or, as many of you know I would actually say WTF??? I posted a painting the other day from a new series that is asking to be created, around the Tarot.  Don’t ask me why I am painting these, because I don’t have a clear answer….yet….except I think that what happened may just be a… Continue Reading

I chose consciousness…

….before I even knew the meaning of the word.  Before I knew what it entailed…   I didn’t just CHOOSE it, I said, “Bring it on!”.  Lord god…. I was so unhappy.  Like, always sick, unhappy.  Like, knowing that there was more to life than what I was experiencing.  Like there was something else out there.… Continue Reading

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