Said in the whiniest voice from a small child who is tired of riding in the car!! All of you who have ever traveled with small children know EXACTLY what it sounds like!!! They want to GET THERE!!
My parents must have been crazy and/or saints to want to travel with four children five and a half years apart! But, we made up games…”I see, I see, what do I see”…and sang (in harmony, mind you…yes, we were the dorky family!) The “I see” game forced us to be mindful of what was around us. At that point, it became more about the journey, rather than the destination.
As adults on this spiritual path, we are not much different.
When I started this trek to self-knowledge, I was FIRED UP!!! I had known for quite some time that there was something else out there. No one else in my family had ever gone where I had NO IDEA I was going. I just KNEW that it was all going to be fairies and unicorns farting glitter. I said to GUS, (in my true Mars in Aries fashion), “BRING IT ON!”
Oh holy shit balls Batman!
And, GUS provided. In spades.
I’ve learned that lessons get deeper. You THINK you have it down, and you get a bit cocky (mind you, there is a difference between “knowing” and being cocky), and then GUS throws you a curve ball saying, “Catch THIS one!” It’s like a spiral. There are a lot of ancestral wounds that show up. Familial patterns that need healing. Karma that needs to be corrected. Triggers that need to be looked at.
YUP, it is a lot.
But, you can’t unknow what you know.
I’ve been approached a lot lately by people who are just now waking up….it’s happening by the hundreds of thousands everyday. And, I love the ones that ask questions. Somehow they know that they don’t know it all, and are dazed and confused. There are, however, the ones that know it all. The cocky ones. I see them, because I WAS THEM!!!
Lately though, I’ve been choosing humility. I’ve been choosing to look at the donut rather than the hole (most of the time). I’ve been choosing to celebrate the little things: A passionate thunderstorm, the way the sunlight lights up the leftover rain, my littles throwing themselves into my arms and screaming “Mimi”.
I’ve had many incredible mentors throughout my awakening…whom I am grateful for, but it’s time now for me to trust my own inner knowing.
To know that there will be bad days, and that I have a tool box overflowing with tools I have picked up along the way to use during these bad times. I don’t beat myself up (as much), knowing that the lessons come in waves and take me deeper.
I’m grateful more. (When I don’t feel overwhelmed.)
I trust MY intuition more.
I surrender more.
So, when are we going to “get there”?
It’s about the journey, not the destination.
May We Walk Together As One.