Category Archives: Everyday Life

It’s Been a Rough FREAKIN’ Year…(part deux)

(If you haven’t read “It’s Been a Rough FREAKIN’ Year” part one , and you want to – click here)….

BUT, first, my Guides have been adamant about having me share something about using the phrase “cream of the crop”.

EVERYONE here plays a role.  Not one of us can make a move without affecting another.  It’s all a part of the brilliant tapestry that we are weaving.  We are connected in so many ways this lifetime – There are the soul contracts, karma from past lifetimes, karma from THIS lifetime, physical connection, etc etc etc.  You never know when, where, why or how (in some cases) your actions or words will transform someone’s life.

So, BE mindful.  BE compassionate.  BE joy.  BE forgiving.  BE love.  Just BE!!!!

Onto more vulnerable stuff….I found out that I have Lyme Disease, which is kind of a relief for me, because I have been exhausted, stressed, moody, arthritic, and having heart issues…which I was blaming on my age, and some what of a non-healthy lifestyle (I really am not much of a green leafy person – preferring bread – etc etc).  I am choosing (consciously) to work with an alternative health care professional, and, I discovered The Medical Medium, who has really changed the way I look at, well, everything that has to do with my lifestyle.

I’ve started juicing and eating healthier.

But, I have to admit, I’ve been beating myself up….a LOT!!!   What did I do to cause this?  And, why me?  So, before you think I am in victim mode, which I will admit, I started going down that old familiar rabbit hole pattern….I’m not.  I’m using this as a way to take control of my life…to change my lifestyle.  Although, I have to confess that there are days lately, that I see myself as a failure…like I did something wrong, and am being punished for it.

I don’t want to be a crotchity, unhealthy Mimi to my Littles – I want to be that grandparent that can keep up with them…that is fun…that is happy AND healthy.  I want to set an example for both my children and my grands…I guess I really never thought about it much before, I kinda thought that my way of living was good….until I started juicing, cutting out gluten, and being more mindful.  (I can definitely tell when I eat something “bad”!)

I’ve always been a “doer”.  I’m a crappy “be-er”.  This has made me aware that the “doing” has to stop.  That part of the resetting of my body, also includes my mind, AND my spirit.   I know that I preach mind, body, spirit….But, I’m truly understanding the importance now.

The brain fog is real.  The exhaustion is real.  The depression is real.  The cause of the actual dis-ease is not truly known, but, I do know that something needs to change.

Sorry about the down and dirty blog, but, not all days are good…  I think that one of the things when choosing a spiritual path that gets beaten into our heads is that we create our own reality…and when things are less than perfect…we get down on ourselves and see ourselves as failures…BUT WE ARE FREAKIN HUMAN PEOPLE…and along with choosing to be human comes emotions…

I’m not wallering…I’m just having a less than perfect day.

Much love,

Paula

How many of you (like me) run?

….from facing your fears….and from facing yourself?  I know I do.  What is it that you do??

This is one of the things I do…I buy houses.  About every two years, I get the itch to change residences.  But, this home here in Bella Vista, Arkansas…is different.  I’m putting down roots. Literally and figuratively.  I’m fixing, remodeling, and planting.  Making Noelle (I know, I ALWAYS name my homes and cars!), the piece of art that she is.  And, in the process, working on myself.

Opening up walls        letting the light in

A friend (who is a realtor), used to ask me, “I know you love fixing up homes, but, what exactly are you running from?”

Mike Drop.

A few months of being a tad pissed off.

Which always seems to happen when someone asks you the hard question when you don’t want to face YOUR truth.

Today – after a night of sleeping on the bathroom floor because of a bad case of the flu – I have had the time (Thank you GUS), to reflect more on my patterns and reluctance to look at them.

Moving takes time and energy.  Granted, it is something that I LOVE doing, but, it is multi-layered.  As is everything that happens on this earthly plain.  Time and energy that I told myself was my passion…and it really was…and still is…but, it goes deeper.

A Cancer’s home is their sanctuary.  I made a lot of sanctuaries, and never took the time to enjoy them.  To just take time to be, and look deeper within.

TO PUT DOWN ROOTS.

To work on the hard stuff.

It’s amazing what is coming up.

I tend to be a bit flighty – it’s hard for me to buckle down – but, when I do – good things always happen.  When I do the “work” and face my fears, they seem to become smaller…I write about this a lot…but, I think it is important to always uncover more layers…Just like the demon (read about my big AHA here!)…chasing you…only to find out it was/is a chihuahua.

So, if you feel comfortable sharing – what is it that YOU do?

We really are walking together as one people.

We are more alike than we are different.

Blessings,

Paula

Conflict, Boundaries and Guilt

God, I used to hate conflict…boundary was not in my vocabulary….and NO ONE was better at guilting themselves than I was.  I was the Queen. But, something happened this last year on my journey.   I kept attracting the same sort of people.  Victim-ish and vampirish.  AND, as you know, that means there were lessons there,… Continue Reading

Disconnect-ed

I think that, for the most part right now….(and I’m NOT speaking for everyone), we are disconnect-ed.  We have grown up thinking and being taught one way, and yet, our intuition, our heart, is saying another.   Or it is a combination of the two – or a HUGE internal battle. I’m only speaking for myself… Continue Reading

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Raven Shaman