Category Archives: Everyday Life

Rising into Obscurity

**** WARNING****   This blog contains strong language and opinions that are mine – and mine alone – but, I think many others will relate.

What happened in Charlottesville made me realize that it is time to step up and speak out.  Really scary for me, because, I have always been a people pleaser, and my opinions were rarely my own.   I borrowed them from others.

I’ve always been fascinated with everything Native American.  And, have been blessed to have been able to learn about their culture by participating in ceremonies, and through long talks and time spent listening to their history – the good, the bad and the ugly.

I believe that they are the Earth Keepers.  The ones who will lead us back to honoring Mother Earth – and ultimately to love.

This comment made by David Duke – “We’re gonna fulfill the promises of Donald Trump. That’s what we’ve believed in, that’s why we voted for Donald Trump because he said he’s gonna take our country back – and that’s what we gotta do.”, was a sign from Spirit that it is time to speak my mind on this subject.  Seriously, WTF???

Make America Great Again….

Make it great, like it was when we came to this continent and stole land from the indigenous people?

Make it great, like it was when we gave them blankets infected with the small pox virus?

Make it great, like it was when we gave them the Badlands in South Dakota, and then discovered gold, and took it back?

Make it great, like it was when we came here and made them choose Christian names, and choose a religion?  When we pulled them from their families and their ways of life, and made them attend boarding schools?

Make it great, like it was when we told them that they could no longer practicing their own religious ceremonies?

Make it great, like it was when we slaughtered them at Wounded Knee?  When we slaughtered more of them, then were killed during the Holocaust? And then, taught in our history classes that we HAD to kill them, because they were savages?

Make it great, like it was when commerce (big oil) won out at Standing Rock and a pipeline went through their land and drinking water?

The nations are even dividing amongst themselves,  part of them feeling the need to fit into the world the way it is, and the brave, courageous ones, speaking out for the Earth.  And ultimately, for us – because if the Earth dies – where will we be?  We can’t drink or eat money.

What gives those of us who are white, and supposedly christian, the right to tell others what to do, based on the color of our skin?

What happened to “Love one another as you love yourself”?

I believe that this is happening for us to wake up.   To see the darkness that was there all along, but hiding.  Trump’s rhetoric, his bigotry, and his “bigly” narcissistic behavior is “unpresidented” (LOL!!!)

However, I believe he is fulfilling his soul contract.  That he serves a purpose.  Initially, it appears that he is about dividing all of us, but, I believe something good – no GREAT – will come out of this.  I believe it has to be this extreme to really wake all of us up to what is important – and people….it’s not money!!!

I believe that there is a much bigger, cosmic plan in all of what is happening now.   I believe that it is debriding lifetimes of wounds, and allowing us to realize what is truly important.

Change, BIG change is coming, and those of us that are aware, are being asked to step into who we are in a bigger way than we thought or think that we can.

I’m here in Monument Valley, where the Monuments, the sacred land, is screaming to me – Stand Strong – Weather the storms – and, it’s time to step up, and speak up.

I’m not an activist, in the pure sense of the word, but, I am here to be who I am.  An artist who receives and has agreed to share messages that I receive.

Remember this…

Smiles look the same….

Joy feels the same…..

Laughter sounds the same….

No matter

What

Language

Race

Or Religion.

May we walk together as one.

Paula

Transformation

This year has been a bitch!  And incredible!  They seem to go hand in hand.  For all of the challenges that I, AND MANY OTHERS, are navigating, there is always a silver lining.  Powerful, POWERFUL lessons to help us shed, and accept our darkness.  To light our torches.  To help others, JUST BY ACCEPTING OURSELVES.

I was blessed this year, by being contacted by a woman, Debra Koertge, who owns my dream “gallery space”, Artemesia, in Geneva, IL.  She followed me for a while on FaceBook before she contacted me….I like to tease her that she stalked me, but, what she was really doing was seeing if I was authentic.

She wanted to present my art, along with my messages, (which are as important as my art) at an opening on July 20th.

My life, my world, was getting ready to be rocked!!!   I knew it, I just didn’t know how it would happen.

Enter in her amazing photographer husband, Detlef, and I KNEW something big was going to happen!!!

We all decided after the opening and the art fair to just chill (AND watch Game of Thrones) on Sunday.  Debra and Detlef decided that it was time for me to have a photography session.

I had no idea what to expect.

Debra did my make-up and chose my “costume”.  She KNEW.

Detlef set up his studio….

Let the FUN begin!!!

I have to be honest – when Detlef printed out a photo, my first thought was – Who is this old woman?  Followed by, this is a woman that cannot be fucked with.  And then even deeper.  OMG – this is me!!!!

ME….the me I’ve been so afraid to let anyone see.  The me that I’ve always knew I was, just afraid of becoming.  The me that is fierce, honest (to a fault sometimes), confident, gifted, an empath, and compassionate.

They SAW me.  Even when I couldn’t.

I’ve always, ALWAYS, been a people pleaser.  It comes from my childhood.  I was taught that to take care of myself, was selfish.  My opinions were always what others thought.  Because, I never wanted to rock the boat.  When I did state MY opinion, if someone disagreed – I would shut down.

My shell (I’m a Cancer) got tougher, and thicker.  So much so, that even I wasn’t aware how much I had locked inside.  I’ve struggled, a lot, with claiming my power, and feeling like I need to hide.  I was taught that pride goeth before the fall.

I’ve been afraid to tell most people that my paintings along with my messages come from visions.  I’ve been afraid to be this weird, woo-woo, witchy artist whom others look at and think – she needs a straight jacket.  I’ve been afraid to have an opinion, and so, most of the time when I do, it comes out sideways.

I’m learning to love myself…slowly…accepting that I am who I am, not who others think I am….AND THAT’S ok.

This is the painting that came out after getting my photo done…..Along with her message.

Making Her Appearance

She’s never felt comfortable with who she is.

She always knew she was different.

That her thought processes were different.

That she didn’t fit in, even though a part of her wanted to…still occasionally wants to.

She knows, however, that that is not who she is.

So it’s baby steps.

Slowly, she is beginning to truly accept who she is and why she is here.

As afraid as she is….she is

Making her appearance.

May we walk together as one.

Blessings to all.

Paula

 

Spirited Discussion

Boundaries seem to be my lesson lately.   After years of not even knowing what they were, and then being aware – but not sure how to make them, and now – being aware of how to make them – they seem to be presenting opportunities right and left to see if I am able to…Continue Reading

Oh Esperanza

Hope…you have always filled me with Hope…Thus, your name.  I always believed in myself when I was here, but this time is different.   And, yet not. You healed me in a way I cannot put into words….always teaching me lessons about life.  This time was no different.  I walked into you, and knew it was…Continue Reading

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