I think that, for the most part right now….(and I’m NOT speaking for everyone), we are disconnect-ed. We have grown up thinking and being taught one way, and yet, our intuition, our heart, is saying another. Or it is a combination of the two – or a HUGE internal battle.
I’m only speaking for myself right now, but, I think some of you may recognize yourselves in this blog. I know that I have done some very powerful healing work. That culminated in a journey to Taos, where I always go to reconnect with my soul….only this time was very different.
It’s been years since I have dug this deep into my core wounding. My old patterns and thought processes of being. Ancestral stuff. Lifetimes of getting away with BEing a certain way…..and getting by with it. But, I know that I can’t anymore….and it’s challenging.
AND, the Mountain made me LOOK DEEP INSIDE!!! True to her form and energy, (and her 2 x 4 nature), I had to look at a magnifying mirror…..which showed a lot of my old patterning and wounding…and I realized how much of a gift I was given.
However, I will also say that when the wounds are ancestral, that switching gears becomes a bit rough. It takes a while to develop new patterns….kinda like riding a bike for the first time….I have training wheels.
I’m learning more how to respond, rather than react.
I’m learning how not to beat myself up – and this one is HUGE – because I have spent a lifetime(s) – doing this.
I’m learning how to have my own rudder – because for most of my life – I’ve relied on others to guide me – in every way shape or form – not having my own opinions (I know…..right????!!!) – and when I did – I seem to manage to see that my opinion was flawed…..
One thing I DO know at the core of my being is that I am supposed to paint and write messages….so that is where I am starting.
At MY beginning.
It’s about being gentle with myself, and others.
May we walk together as one.