I’m Calling Bull Crap…

Growing Love

(I’d say the other word, but social media tends to frown upon my typical language…LOL!!!)

….on those that say – just think nice thoughts because that’s how you create your reality.

AND, here is why.

Sometimes, our “issues” are not in the here and now, but deeper than that.  It takes a really GOOD intuitive energy healer to truly dig down to the core issue.

For years, I was convinced that there was something wrong with me.   I tried changing my thought processes, but, I always seemed to revert back to the same “Nobody likes me.  Every body hates me.  I’m gonna go eat worms.” way of thinking.

I have worked with numerous healers over the past ten years, and basically they all said the same thing…which was…you just need to get your crap together. Stop focusing on the bad…etc etc…

But, for me, that just led to more pain. Because, no matter how hard I tried – I always failed…

It was only after working with Brooke Tatum of Fierce Empath, that we finally got down to the nitty gritty.  I had a very ancient ancestral black hole (BH) entity that was attached to me.  No matter how hard I tried (before knowing this), I felt like a failure, (have I said this enough???)  Which led to more beating up of self.  It became a serious spiral.  Culminating in me wanting to jump off a bridge.

Even after sending the BH back to whence it came…I was still struggling.  I felt lost – like my sails were lufting.  I couldn’t seem to get my “crap” together.

Another session led to some more deep digging.

I have spent a lifetime with certain patterns of negative ways of thinking, and although the BH was gone, I needed to retrain my brain and my heart to know that I am indeed worthy, and valuable.

I’ve been facing some deep seated demons.

Not wallering in victim hood…but really doing some deep digging. (There is a huge difference here!!!!)  Feeling the anger and the pain…and doing some serious reevaluating.

As fate would have it, Liz Gilbert wrote about Tribal Shame three years ago, and it popped up on my friend’s memories on Facebook….here is the link.  It was exactly what I needed at exactly the right time – THANKS GUS!! (She is seriously my heroine…not only is she doing the work…but she is not afraid to be human…unlike some of the rest of us!)

For those of you going through challenging times, who have worked with a healer or therapist, and you don’t seem to be getting anywhere – it’s ok to say – we are not an energetic match.  Find someone who fits YOU.  It takes courage, trust and some compassion for yourself to do this kind of work. Be prepared to have bad days, and days of elation.

Look at your crap.


Work with someone you trust.

Someone who believes in you.

Someone who believes in the power of the collective and how interconnected we all are.

Do it for you.

Do it for us.

Do it for love.

May We Walk Together As One.




6 Responses to I’m Calling Bull Crap…

  1. I loved that tribal shame article! I read it a couple of years ago and it really struck a chord for me as well. I’m working on a painting now loosely inspired by this topic believe it or not. Love your insights!! Thank you for your vulnerability.

  2. This really strikes a cord. I actually was working with a healer I really liked, but he cut the sessions from 1 hour to 50 minutes and didn’t tell me. When I asked him about that, he said he was looking out for himself and had to have boundaries. I loved working with him, but I felt betrayed. I’m not sure what that means or what GUS has to say about that.

    • Did you say that YOU have boundaries also??? Because, I would have….after I got over the initial shock!!

  3. The shadow side of our personality we have to come to terms with and that requires some guidance. Mine is bigger than me, running me. It’s a particularly unsettled animus but what do I know…. gptcthe name of a Jungian therapist I might want to work with. Don’t let the crap run you.

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