And scared.

(This was written BEFORE I WENT TO CHICAGO – so it’s a tad outdated!)

I’ve gone through several fairly significant changes for the past three months.   I’ve had time to really reflect on what is important.

Who I am.

Why I am here.

I guess I’m really here to be me.

Sounds simple doesn’t it?

But, being me, REALLY being me, requires facing some real fears. The fear of being liked. The fear of being accepted.

My job is to inspire. To bring in messages of hope. To tell my truth with my stories, (even if it is ugly – and frequently it is!!!), even when I KNOW that some will look at me like I have three heads. To be a warrior rather than a Pollyanna. To know that some will challenge my beliefs, and to not take it personally.

This journey will be life changing for me – IF I can just be me.

I am going to Chicago for a One Woman Show at a venue that I have dreamed about. With a gallery owner and her husband that “see me”. (And still like me!!)

But, and, it’s time for ME to fully embrace me.   I’ve always known who I was (deep in the cobwebby places in my soul), and yet, I’ve tried to be someone that I am not. Do I have the courage to be as different as I know I am? Or am I? Am I here to “come out” so that others know they aren’t alone?

I’m a visionary, intuitive artist that channels in messages from other places. I’m an INFJ with some P tendencies. My Mars is in Aries, which makes me impulsive, and I have learned to temper it a bit, AND embrace it. I also have a grand fire trine. I’m a full blown woo woo witchy type, who is also an empath, highly sensitive person and seer. I know when people are authentic and when they are not. I know when they are lying to me, but, even deeper, I know when they are lying to themselves. I limit my time with people, not because I don’t like them, but, I’m a damn sponge with energies (really working on my boundaries!!!). Years ago, I would have been hospitalized and probably given a lobotomy. Or ECT. Even more years ago I would have been burned at the stake (and most likely was!). However, even more years ago, I would have been accepted.

It’s time.

For all of us that are feeling this way. We aren’t alone on this journey to collective consciousness. And the only way for us to find one another is to light our torch.   It’s time to lead the way with our integrity, our knowing, our belief that change is upon us, and it is up to us to ignite that change.

I know many, MANY of you who are also feeling this way. Like you are being called to do something you know that you can and are supposed to be, and you are scared as hell. WELL, let me tell you – in spite of all of my bravado – I AM TOO!   We have been through hell and back, and done our work. We have looked at our demons, and made peace with them, or banished them. We are walking our talk. We know who we are, because we feel it.

It’s time to be ourselves. Unapologetically. Without fear. (You know who you are!)

It’s time.

Deep breath.

It’s time.

And let it out.

May we walk together as one.

PS – only a FEW people looked at me like I had three heads….That number is down!!!!!!!



3 Responses to I’m EXCITED!!!

  1. Still learning a lot about myself but letting go of some fears. It takes patience and practice. This helps.

    I’m smiling too.

Leave a reply

About Paula
Malcare WordPress Security