Tag Archives: courage

A$$hole comment….

Yada, Yada, Yada (24 x 24)….and I knew it.  It hit a deep wound.  And I knew it.  I responded, even though I knew exactly what was going on.  I couldn’t help myself.

I have a new soft shell (I’m a Cancer) that I have recently grown.  I’m vulnerable – hell, we all are – when we are trying on something new and stepping into who we are.  It takes a SHIT TON of courage to do this work.  I’m not just speaking for myself, I’m saying this for all of us!

And, I know anytime that we choose to put our authentic selves out there that it’s risky.  We open ourselves up to criticism, and we know it’s coming, but we do it anyway.  BECAUSE WE HAVE TO.

I can’t speak for others, but, I think I can give a voice to artists…at least those who are going outside of their comfort zone, and being authentic to who they are, and painting what their soul is begging them to paint.

As an artist, what we paint – for the most part – is who we are.  It’s our emotional being on canvas.  It’s our soul expressing itself.  It’s very difficult to separate who we are from what we do.   I think that most artists feel this way.

I have a pretty tough shell when it comes to constructive criticism….like – you need more darks, more contrast, the composition is a bit wonky, etc etc.  I actually welcome CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.  I always open to learning.  As most of us are.

But I am not open to this:  “This painting is awful.  It looks like Dolly Parton on a bad hair day on drugs.”

And then he went on to compare me to James Bama, who is a great, VERY traditional artist, and does not paint in my style at all.   He paints the seen.  I paint the unseen.  The visions, the messages.

There is no comparing.

He couldn’t paint what I paint…but, I can still paint traditionally.

I responded and first of all said – “Thank God, not all of us like the same art. And I’m grateful that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

And then, a reaction, “Didn’t your mother teach you if you couldn’t say anything nice, then say nothing at all?”

He continued….with a lot more condescending rhetoric….that pushed every single button, all my wounding, all my doubts and fears.

Delete and ban.

I’m not sharing this with you for you to get on the “f*** him” bandwagon.

I’m sharing it, because we can choose to allow it to affect us, or we can delete and ban. It happens to all of us who are stepping up and into who we are.  Our intuition is strong.  Our desire to be ourselves is strong.  Our passion about our paths is even stronger.

I don’t know this man…but, I suspect that he is unhappy.  And that is not my problem.  I can choose to let him affect me (and, I have got to admit – it did – a bit more than a bit), or I can know that I am just not gonna be everyone’s cup of tea.

Still learning those never ending lessons….as you know….they keep circling around (and give me GREAT blog fodder!!)

May we walk together as one


PS…I’ll bet he hates Georgia and Jackson too…#just sayin




I chose consciousness…

Earth Healer (10 x 10)
Earth Healer

….before I even knew the meaning of the word.  Before I knew what it entailed…   I didn’t just CHOOSE it, I said, “Bring it on!”.  Lord god….

I was so unhappy.  Like, always sick, unhappy.  Like, knowing that there was more to life than what I was experiencing.  Like there was something else out there.

I had no idea that my life would crumble.  That I would die a thousand deaths, only to be reborn.  That I would have to face dragons, and demons that I had no idea existed.  That I would have to look at old outdated patterns and beliefs that I had.

I went from being a dentist’s wife in a small town in Western Kansas….a simple comfortable life, that many would be very content living, to dating a shaman in Taos, New Mexico.

I was an artist.  How in the hell was I going to “make” it?  I received very little support from my family. (With the exception of my sister – although – I do believe she wondered about my sanity – but, I never doubted her love for me.) One comment that still sticks in my mind was “They call them starving artists for a reason!”.  Gee, thanks….that’s the kind of help that I didn’t need.

I became a seeker.  I tried, and studied everything “woo-woo”.

I thought I was crazy.

To want something different.

To paint something different.

To BE different.



I’m not meant to fit into that round hole.  I’m not meant to follow the masses.  I’m not a follower.

When people tell me “That’s not the way it is done.”, I say, “Watch me.”

When people tell me that I “should” paint traditionally, I say, “But, it’s not what my soul is telling me to paint.”

When people say “You’ll never make it”, I say, “Hold my beer.” (Or scotch!)

Listening to the artists out there that teach “How to be a successful artist”….I say, good for them, but one person’s way may not work for another.

The reason why I am sharing all of this, is because I know there are so many others out there that feel the way I do.  I know how people look at those of us who are becoming enlightened.  One of my “jobs” is to let others know that others know that they are not crazy.

This journey that we have chosen can be tough.  We can feel alone, but I assure you – YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!  There are thousands waking up – facing their own dragons – right now.

It’s time.

Mother Gaia needs us.


If, knowing then what I know now, would I do it all over again – the answer would be HELL YES!!!   Would I do it the same way – probably. But, everyone’s way is different.

You can’t unknow what you know.

The fear appears real – but, your courage is much much greater, I assure you.

For those of us facing our dragons, there are millions of us standing behind you saying, “You have this, we honor you, stand behind you for choosing this journey, and thank you for your courage!”

My life has become magical – as will yours.

Soon, we will not be the exception to the rule, but, we will become the rule.

May we walk together as one.



Comforting the Disturbed….

…..and disturbing the comfortable. It’s not for the faint of heart.  It’s a special calling for a few artists whose soul and higher self begs for them to create art along with messages that are controversial. And particularly challenging for those artists who are susceptible and worry about what others think, because of their wounding,… Continue Reading

Outside of Her Comfort zone

Strange painting, I know.  But, I felt driven to create it….and then waited patiently for it’s message.  Not all paintings are meant to be masterpieces.   Some are created to push oneself.  To try new techniques and materials.  To go where one has not gone before. And, then it came. The message. GO OUTSIDE OF YOUR… Continue Reading

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