Tag Archives: compassion

Is the Light Getting Brighter?

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Or is it just me?  I can’t decide, so I am relying on all of you to tell me how YOU feel about it….  I know that being in the pitch black for a few days, that any amount of illumination is so very welcomed and appreciated.   Perhaps, that is one of the main reasons FOR our darkness.

I’m so very fortunate to paint, create and tap into the energies of the collective and pull out messages that we all seem to need right now.   I know that they all aren’t meant for each and every one of you all of the time….and perhaps at times I may ruffle some feathers (actually, I KNOW at times I ruffle feathers – because of some of the behind the scene comments I receive), but, trust me, my feathers have been ruffled a time or two, but, I believe that the most growth we have comes from being ruffled.

Last year and the first couple weeks of this year have been brutal for so many of us.  We have been challenged and asked to shed so much….and so many of us have been doing it kicking and screaming all the way!!!   And yet, there have been major breakthroughs for so many…..after a lot of hand-holding, crying, and “why me?” questions….

As many of you know, don’t know, don’t care, or haven’t heard yet….I went through my first ever panic attack.  Lord Gawd….I had to surrender so much control….and do the only thing I know how to do to recenter and reground….and that was to try and paint.  From the Ashes came….and then these sassy pants women….a bit (OK – a ton) of attitude, strong, powerful and yet, compassionate and authentic.  In other words, unapologetically who they are.   They don’t give a rat’s ass how others tell them it “should” be done…they are going to do it the way that their intuition guides them to do it.

No more trying to be like someone else.  Or how someone tells them they “should” be.

I love how healing my art has been for me through all of this.

I love how most of my friends knew exactly what to do.

I love how I learned so much about me and what makes me tick.

I love how much more compassion I feel for so many more than I did before (trust me, I was judgy about this – thinking it should be a piece of cake to work through a panic attack – dayum Gina – no freaking way!!!)

I LOVE these Sassy Pants!!!

So, is the light getting brighter, or is it just me after being in the icky darkness for a while?

May We Walk Together as One

Blessings y’all

Paula

 

 

I’ve been AWOL

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And here is why….Occasionally life throws us curve balls.  Last week I got the flu.  Full blown, even to the point that I went to the clinic to get checked…Such a rare thing for me.

Then, my son’s lung collapsed and he had to be hospitalized.  He had been trying to get health insurance since May of 2017, and despite numerous phone calls, and following the Health care.gov rules…nada, zippo, zilch!

We finally made it home last week Sunday and I woke up Sunday night having a FULL BLOWN PANIC ATTACK!!!  I couldn’t breathe, listen, speak, or eat.  As a matter of a fact – I honestly thought I was dying!!!   I painted From the Ashes, because I thought it would help….and it did….temporarily.  From the Ashes (24 x 24)

Monday night – rinse and repeat.  Same thing – not as severe – but same symptoms.

I became hyper aware that I couldn’t discuss the specifics of the attack – and set some boundaries that are always difficult for me to set.  And, compassion kicked in.  For those who suffer with these on a regular basis, AND, for myself.

When I could finally see what happened, and could process a bit – The Sassy Pants series was born.

I needed the reminder that “I” had the power!  No one else.  Just me.

I think that artists are unique in that we are able to paint our way through our emotions, and lessons…..not that we are always able to…..but, we can, if we just release and allow.

Getting Her S#!T Together came first – VERY LARGE – and hung in a place in my home that I look at it daily. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then came On Her Soapbox to remind me to be grateful. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After that was Fake it till you Make it – I had never really considered being sassy enough to pretend. And yet, for some reason, I felt the need to paint this colorful being. (She is available for $575 with free shipping in the US – 24 x 36 x .5 – regular price $1300)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m not sure why this happened, totally, but, I have my thoughts.  I think one of the main reasons is to learn how to be less judgy and more compassionate.  Another reason is to remind me that there is a power greater than me at work here (Thank you GUS!), and that I really do need to learn how to release and allow.  Still a third reason that I have yet to look at is deeply personal – and something I have been avoiding like the plague, and so GUS (thank you AGAIN!), threw it in my face, so that I have no other option BUT to look at it!!!

This being AWOL has allowed me to see clearer (now that I am on the other side), and has really upped my compassion game.

I’m very fortunate to have had some incredible friends share their experiences, and the breathing techniques that help them when they feel a panic attack coming on.  It doesn’t completely eliminate them, but, it makes them easier to navigate.

May We Walk Together As One.

Blessings,

Paula

 

 

Conflict, Boundaries and Guilt

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God, I used to hate conflict…boundary was not in my vocabulary….and NO ONE was better at guilting themselves than I was.  I was the Queen. But, something happened this last year on my journey.   I kept attracting the same sort of people.  Victim-ish and vampirish.  AND, as you know, that means there were lessons there,… Continue Reading

I failed.

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Yesterday morning was tough on me.  I went into a “Why can’t you seem to do anything right” spot.  I went to a party the night before, and got completely overwhelmed.  LOTS of people in a very small space.  Some I knew well.  Some I knew as an acquaintance.  But, most I didn’t know at… Continue Reading

WTH????

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……Or, as many of you know I would actually say WTF??? I posted a painting the other day from a new series that is asking to be created, around the Tarot.  Don’t ask me why I am painting these, because I don’t have a clear answer….yet….except I think that what happened may just be a… Continue Reading

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